Here are some of my favourite quotes. But don’t expect them to be inspirational.. Authors given where known, apologise for mistakes. A lot of my favourites are actually lines from songs I like, so I’ve tried to distinguish between lyrics and quotes, although a few killer lines might slip in here. (I might need a separate ‘Futurama’ section)

  • “They’re not very heavy, but you don’t hear me not complaning.”
  • -Bender

  • “Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?”
  • -Fry

  • For we, which now behold these present days,
  • Have eyes to wonder, but lack tongues to praise.
  • -William Shakespeare

  • “Mit der Dummheit kämpfen die Götter selbst vergebens”
  • (Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain) -Friedrich Schiller

  • “It’s clever, but is it Art?”
  • -Rudyard Kipling

  • “The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose”
  • -William Shakespeare

  • “For I have sworn thee fair,and thought thee bright,
  • Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.”
  • -William Shakespeare

  • “The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future.”
  • -Frank Herbert

  • “Empires do not suffer emptiness of purpose at the time of their creation. It is when they have become established that aims are lost and replaced by vague ritual.”
  • -Frank Herbert

  • “A truth that’s told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent.”
  • -William Blake

  • “Several excuses are always less convincing than one.”
  • -Aldous Huxley

  • “Falling in love is so hard on the knees”
  • -Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

  • “Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can.”
  • -Milan Kundera

  • “O passi graviora, dabit deus his quoque finem”
  • (O you who have borne even greater things, God will grant an end to these too) -Virgil

  • “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me”
  • -Robert Frost

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