My shower drain had been blocked for a while, so over the weekend I Cillit-Banged the Bejeezus out of it. As I was luxuriating (again, not a euphemism) myself today, I realised I was missing something. It took me a while to realise that it was the feeling of scummy water lapping around my feet! Man it felt strange, like my ankles had been abandoned after a long, vaguely comforting relationship.
Radio 2 this morning played a song by somebody called something. But it had a line that went “I can dream about youâ€, which sounded like the guy had actually been denied permission to touch her, or even approach within 600 yards (a pretty standard ruling, I can tell you). Which makes you think; sometimes a thing can be pervy, and sometimes it is endearing and romantic. Let me give you chowderheads an example to make it clearer. In the movie Striptease (a fantastic storyline, by the way) this senator bloke sends his underling to fetch some lint from the laundromat that Demi Moore had just used for her washing so he can sniff it. And where I was going “Awww shoo shweeetâ€, apparently that was pervy! Confusing, innit?
History has been made, by the way. What we (I) keep reading about in science fiction books has finally come to be. No, intergalactic spaceships are not being built in lunar orbit, at least not that I’m aware of. But an accused barman made a court appearance by vidlink. Of course, in the books it used to be called something like GlobVid or CommLink or something equally obvious. And it hasn’t made much news because we’re so used to this kind of stuff.
Coldplay’s new song tells us we should never fight our ceilings. I’m sure it’s all well meaning and such, but I really don’t think squabbles with one’s dorsal wall is as much of a social problem as they make it out to be. Atleast not big enough to warrant a song of its own. Maybe a token mention somewhere in a paragraph of a song about social ills in general, but not an entire song. I guess all the real fights like drugs and alcohol have been done to death, so they were looking for something new. And don’t get me wrong; I’m all for exploring new frontiers in songwriting/music and suchlike. It’s just that I can’t honestly remember the last time I felt so cross with my ceiling that it warranted a verbal caution. From Coldplay.
P.S. Apparently it’s your feelings you shouldn’t be fighting. Well Yoo-Hoo for originality Mr Coldplay. It just so happens that at this moment I feel like downloading music for free, thereby cutting into your earnings. Do you still stand by your song??