An Inconvenient Choice of Narrator

Yesterday Sha and I went to see An Inconvenient Truth, because we felt we had to do something about global climate this year, and watching a film seemed far easier than actually recycling something.

I said a film, however a more accurate description would be the two films; one on global warming, and the other on Al Gore and how he lost the election to Bush and how he’s a straight guy from the country and almost lost his kid, and his sister died of lung cancer, and what the fuck has that got to do with what I paid money to see? Being American, he can’t resist show-boating, and he seems to merely be one of the first politicians to jump on to the “Global Warming” band wagon, which I predict is soon going to be a huge trend. Band wagon in the sense that they’ll jump on to anything that’ll connect them to the voting public, whether they genuinely care about the issue or not.

Having said that, he clearly has made this presentation many times and does it well, the facts genuinely are scary and clearly stated, if it weren’t for his grand-standing I would’ve called it a great film. A must watch; even if that means you must watch Al Gore. How much better to have left it to David Attenborough (who can do no wrong in mine eyes) to present this. As it is, it leaves one with a contradictory sense of being involved and yet somehow manipulated.

Women joggers

I must say, this is a sub-type of the human race that I wasn’t aware existed. I haven’t really noticed their heaving breaths, their bouncing breasts, and as for those lycra pants…. 

But this article in the BBC says that jogging can lead to sagging breasts in women (presumably in men too; I’m reminded of Homer Simpson discovering the joys of sports bras). Apparently, as a woman runs a mile, her breasts bounce 135 metres. Presumably they take a taxi the rest of the way to catch up with her later. With the average breast weighing 200-300 grams (figures that match independent reseach on my part) this puts a lot of stress on the connecting tissue, leading inevitably to sagging breasts. The solution is to wear a sports bra, preferably made by the company that sponsored this research (do I see a self-interest angle here?).

Grief everywhere

I’m getting a lot of grief from an insurance company based on the Isle of Man, who are supposed to hand me over some money, but have sent me an email saying that instead of the value of the policy, they’ll only be giving me less than 30% of the amount. The rest is going to be swallowed up by them as “penalty” for me wanting to take my money out!! I was apopleptic with rage!!! So now I’ve written them a complaint, taking care to look up procedures and rights with the Financial Ombudsman and the Financial Services Authority. I’m hoping these big names will get so incensed by the immorality of what these guys did that they’ll send in their hit squad ninja accountants with Heckler & Koch HK Mk23 semi-automatic pocket calculators (with the little solar panel on top to take the drain off the batteries) and audit the fuck out of them. 

My sis – the I.T Geek!!

My sis has started working as a publicist for a software start-up company called Atlantis based in Bangalore. A typically grandiose name for such things, however I haven’t put a link because I couldn’t find it on the net, which is unusual.

She says “Its my first geek company job. Besides, Im the sixth person to join… so its good fun. 🙂 I get to hire and fire people too! 🙂 Great work environment. All the guys have long hair, and ride Bullets! (Editor’s note:- a kind of heavy motorbike, properly called a Royal Enfield Bullet) 🙂 Muahahahaha! And they’re all weird, which is good. 🙂 ”

She also says “I was looking through your blog and laughing and my CEO came and sat down and read almost all your posts. He LOVES your blog! 🙂 He thinks you’re the funniest guy ever! He thinks you’re really cool! 🙂 Hah! Who’se brother is he after all, me says! 🙂 Shush! Im busy beaming with pride! 😉 ”

 She really uses a lot of smileys!

Find mobile phone bases near your home

If you go to the OFCOM website, you can use a sitefinder tool to see where all the mobile phones “cell” bases are. Then you will know. For whatever purpose.

(I love the Internet. It is full of information)

US admits, finally, that Iraq caused terrorism.

Well that admission in The Times came as a total shock to me. Not the fact, as we knew it to be here in Britain, but the admission. This is really gonna make things sticky for a lot of politicians on both sides of the pond. Ted Honderich mentioned, and I recall, Labour used to claim “Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime”. Will it use the same adage now with respect to terrorism, and be “tough on terror, tough on the causes of terror”? Then it will have to do some serious self-examination.

Ona related issue, Blair’s in town and there are cops everywhere. I wanted to join the protest marches on the weekend, but I’m more of a “I support you in my thoughts from my armchair” kind of revolutionary. The town centre is nice and quiet without cars. Apart from people shouting and the like.

Ted Honderich

is the name of a philosopher who was presenting his views on the cause of terrorism yesterday on Channel Five’s programme ‘Don’t get me started’. The main tenet of his thinking are that all of us have a “moral responsibility” thereby arguing that the events of 11/7 in London and other activities can be blamed partly on Western activities in the Middle East. Something I think is quite obvious. However his arguments were put in a wholly philosophical context, which was very refreshing and different to the regular emotion-laden brawls we hear on these issues. He examined what he called “neo-Zionism”, and called some politicians (yes, the famous double act Bush and Blair) “The Real Friends of Terror”. I was really impressed by the content and ideas behind his arguments.

Of course next week there’s going to be the Jewish refutement of this argument, because they can’t allow Western support of Israel to be named as a cause of terrorism.

In today’s news..

A Chinese guy was bitten by Gu Gu the Panda in Beijing Zoo. He admitted to having had four jugs of beer before clambering into the enclosure. While attempting to hug the sleeping panda, he got bitten in one leg and then the other. So he retaliated promptly by biting the poor thing in the back. “It’s skin was quite thick”, according to him. He also said he’d seen pandas on telly and (and this is the killer line) “they seemed to get along well with people.”

Independent / Gizzard

There’s a great exhibition on at Central Library. Ok, it’s not ‘great’ but very interesting. A selection of some of the front pages of the Independent newspaper from the past 20 years. Funnily enough, Ali was going on about the newspaper just the other day, about how the front pages were cool, and the paper was Independent. I mean not just the name, which is Independent, but actually Independent.

What happened to making funny songs by changing the lyrics like MAD comics used to do? For example, this remake of a song sung to the tune of Wizard of Oz.

“We’re off to see your gizzard, that wonderful gizzard of yours.

Whatever a man may want from his gizzard you’ve got in that gizzard of yours

If ever, oh ever, a gizzard there was that gizzard of yours is one because

because x 5

Because of the wonderful things it does”

Can be sung on any gizzard-related celebrations.

First Woman Space Tourist

Apparently it cost her $25 Million to risk her life in a Soviet-era Soyuz rocket. Still, I’d go. Space tourism is getting so much more accessible, I’m only about 13,342,600 pounds short. Fingers crossed, if I don’t go down to the pub this month.. You can read more about Anousheh Ansari’s trip to the International Space Station from other sources, so I’ll just give you a link and that’s my job done.

Sad to see United lose to Arsenal yesterday, even with all the big names on the pitch. It was definitely a game I was expecting them to win, and perhaps they were too relaxed as well.

My whole body aches from badminton today; after celebrating Helen’s (my new neighbour’s) birthday on Saturday and my new neighbour (and ex-driving instructor) Ben’s house-warming on Friday-Saturday, I could barely drag myself to the sports centre. But once I get going I enjoy it so much that pain is banished from my mind. I’m paying for it now though, can’t move a muscle, especially the well-hidden ones. Helen’s bf Sam is an untouchable bastard with his left-handed smash, and I think we got some important tips from him to move up a notch. Adam’s started his job in London today, so badminton is going to slip into a new post-Adamic era.