Chins up!!

I am informed that a professor has been sacked from MIT for fabricating data in his research. So, we’re not the only ones then, eh??? (This is a nod to our own Gareth “Cut’n’paste” Edward aka “Fingers”)
I bumped into Brian yesterday while having a red curry at the Royal Orchid restaurant yesterday (yes, I’m trying to find a replacement for that belter I had in Munich), he’s doing a gig at The Rampant Lion, so gonna go pick up Tinks and her flatmates and party till late!!

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Somerset Maugham on friendship

I’m reading Somerset Maugham (pronounced ‘mawm’, as my English teacher was always quick to point out) at the moment, ‘A writer’s notebook’ in whcih he has collected all his thoughts as they occur over the year so that he can include those thoughts into his book. It is, as it intends to be, a wonderful insight into a writer’s (his) process. Of course, you can see where this is leading. Yes, I want to give you an excerpt 🙂 . Written when he was 18, the following on friendship:

There are two kinds of friendship. The first is a friendship of animal attraction; you like your friend not for any particular qualities or gifts, but simply because you are drawn to him. “C’est mon ami parce que je l’aime; je l’aime parce que c’est mon ami.” It is unreasoning and unreasonable; and by the irony of things it is propable that you will have this feeling for someone quite unworthy of it. This kind of friendship, though sex has no active part in it, is really akin to love: it arises in the same way, and it is not improbable that it declines in the same way.
The second kind of friendship is intellectual. You are attracted by the gifts of your new acquaintance. His ideas are unfamiliar; he has seen sides of life of which you are ignorant; his experience is impressive. But every well has a bottom and finally your friend will come to the end of what he has to tell you.

I really enjoy it when authors define emotions saying “Here, I give you the four basic human emotions”. Maugham himself later says of this that “extreme youth is apt to make general rules from single instances..”.
Although I, being cynical, would call the second kind a material friendship based on the value of what a friend can give (not everybody is stimulated by another person’s mind, dear Mr. Maugham!).
Now why did I chose this particular piece to quote?? 😛
Tomorrow, I hope to bring you my insights on a passage I read in a Walter Mosley book, and how it relates to our blog use.

To continue

where I left off, I had this most wonderful night on Friday somewhere in town with these friends of mine. Someday a full review will follow, in the meantime you can read Jill’s version of that crezzy, crezzy night! Only must say, does anybody remember those weird high-kicking Kung-Fu characters in Copa Cabana, or was I hallucinating?
P.S And for those not ‘in the know’, Fatima Fong is apparently this Huge asian lady who works in the adult industry, and whose company my friends thought I would be most delighted with having. Not in flesh, of course. But in “life-like rubber”. And still with all her “three succulent holes” (I’m not making this up).

A great day/night

A quick fix of the Net from Ioannis’ before we head out for a night of debauchery. Last night listening to this great band ‘Crispy Duk’ in Bar …Sh in Cheadle with Tinks, Jessy and Ioannis. It was the greatest night I’ve had in a long time (and that’s saying something guys!!). I’ll fill you in with details tomorrow, if I wake up from tonight’s hopefully drug-induced stupor (a man must have his dreams).
As an aside, Ioannis goes to the top of blog ranks because of ‘services to mankind’. I being the representive of mankind that he serviced.

A full-bodied, mature,

..and sparkling wine!! I was squeezed out this very day, a couple of decades (and then some) ago. To all my dear friends who greeted this glorious day for mankind with me, a big thanks! For those who haven’t, I know who you are, there’s a list (there’s always a list) and you’re not on it!!

Ohh, now I’ve got the podium, I have so much to say.

Great night at Po Na Na (liver, what liver?), thanks to “expense account” Ali for comping me all the way. The lovely dinner at Rusholme where I lost my handbag (manbag) with keys, but then retreived it at the cost of 15 squidders for the taxi. And a great pasta Alfredo (I really must meet him one day) lunch at the Waterhouse today as well!!!

Dad called me in the morn, he seems to be getting happier each day. Must be the lack of stress that he must’ve felt having to save little premature babies all his life (there was a little shout to my under-recognised dad).

Other friends made me happy as well, some (very) expected calls, and some quite unexpected, like the one from my old school friend and ex-mosquiteer (it’s a long story) ‘Thanatte’ in Indianapolis, or the one from Gowri from the West Coast, who’s going to get married soon.

I’ve been down to the ‘The Pub’ with Jill n’ Tinks for a pint and a laugh, and now Ioannis is driving us down to Cheadle, where there’s a Jazz club. So we’re going to be chillin’ cool cats, listening to some deep vibes.

Ernst and Young..

or Ernie and Junior, as they’re known to me! They have a career presentation today at the Palace Hotel, which I’ve managed to book myself for even though it clashes partly with Liverpool’s game tonight (who says I’m not devoted to finding a job). Free food and booze, can’t go wrong, I figure. Let’s see what they can do to entice me into their fold. Hefty paycheck, personal palm pilot, company car….”Bring on the dancing girls!!” (-lines of a much-loved Roman orgy-minded character from Asterix comics)

I watched a program on the fernsehen apparat about comic making. I can draw, but not so good, so if there are any artists out there, give me a shout. With my wacky humour, and your hard labour, we can get a cult comic going, and I, erm, we, that is, we can make lots of money.

Ok, while trawling the net with god to find some illustration of dancing girls from Asterix to go with my oh-so-humourous piece above, I found this guy Dave Roman displaying his cartoons on t’web. Great stuff. ‘Agnes Quill’ is nice and dark, and for the soppy girls, there’s ‘How we got engaged’. But most of all I love Astronaut Elementary. Yippee!

United in crappyhood!

What a crap game! What a crap game!! As my esteemed friend and personal mentor was talking about just yesterday, those overpaid sods at United were disgraceful. As the guy sitting behind me said, “We should start paying them based on performance, that’d change their attitude”. D’accord mate.

One highlight of the match though, was when Giggs was substitued for Park Ji-Sung. Giggs gave his captain’s arm-band to Park as they changed places at the touchline, who promptly put it on his own arm! This amused me greatly, and I couldn’t stop making ribald comments about ‘Our Captain’ and his effect on his players.

Went to Deansgate Locks after that to sink a few well-earned ones with Dave of CCRM. The topic of the day was Life, Religion, the Universe, and Everything.

Old Trafford

I’m off to see Man Utd play Lille today at Old Trafford. Kick off at 19:45. Champions League means I had to cancel my swimming today. Won’t have to see Tinks in a swimsuit again, Thank God for small mercies!! I’m predicting a 3-0 thrashing of the Frenchies. Unfortunately Wonder Boy and Granny-toucher-upper Rooney won’t be there, he’s banned for applauding a great decision by ref to send him off.

Dear Channel 5

They have a programme on tonight about people who are obsessed with sex. And apparently this woman is so obsessed that over the years she’s bedded 100,000 men. Yes, that’s one-hundred-thousand. Someone’s telling porkies here!! At a rate of one a day, I’m calculating 300 a year, a thousand in 3 years, which gives her about 300 years of sexual maturity (and desirability, but let’s not go there!) in which to accomplish said deed. Upping the ante, if we say she managed 3 a day, everyday (no breaks on Weekends and national holidays) that still makes it approx. 1000 a year, and a hundred years on her back. More than three different people a day? Ok, four? Five? I can’t see the numbers fitting! So I guess I’ll have to watch this programme to find out the truth.
(Voice at Channel five: “Heh heh! Sucker!!”)

‘A for horses

Ok, as promised, I’m going to post the cockney alphabet here. Had to use God to find most of them, hope you’ll find it a laugh.

A for Horses (Hay for Horses), A for ism (aphorism)

B for mutton (Beef or Mutton) B for my time (Before my time) B for dinner (beef for dinner)

C for yourself (See for yourself) C for Sailors (sea for sailors) C for ships C for miles (see for miles) C for looking (see for looking)

D for ential (deferential/differential) D for dumb (deaf or dumb) D for Kate (defecate) D for rent (different)

E for brick (heave a brick) E for Adam (Eve or Adam) E for you or me (either you or me) E for Gas (Ether gas)

F for vescence (effervescence)

G for police (chief of police), G for get it (Gee, forget it!) G for take (give or take) G for Staff (chief of staff) G for Sis (g-forces) or G for horse (G-force)

H for respect (age for respect) H for retirement (age for retirement) H for it (Hate you for it) H for weight (Age for weight) H for teen (Age 14) H before beauty (age before beauty) H for consent (age of consent) H for love (ache for love) H for himself (each for himself) H cheer for the winner(A cheer for the winner)

I for an I (eye for an eye) I for get/got (I forget/forgot) I for nate (hyphernate) I for a needle (Eye for a needle) I for no (Ivanhoe) I for the Girls (eye for the girls) I for idea (I’ve an idea) I for tower (Eiffel Tower) I for idea/nasty cold (I’ve an idea/a nasty cold) I for pain (I’ve a pain)

J for dollar to spare (Do you have a dollar…)

K for teria (cafeteria) K for a cuppa (Care for a cuppa) K for coffee (Cafe for coffee) K for Restaurant (Cafe or Restaurant) K for the door (key for the door)

L for leather (Hell for leather)

M for sis (emphasis) M for sema (emphysema)

N for lope (envelope) N for eggs (Hen for eggs) N for mation (information) N for end (end-for-end) N for a penny (In for a penny…) N for it (In for it) N forcement (enforcement), N for red (infrared) N for terrible (enfant terrible)

O for the garden wall (Over the garden wall) O for my dead body/ O for goodness sake//O for the wings of a dove/O for the moon, O for crying out loud! O for there, O for come (overcome) O for a nice cold beer

P for relief (Pee for relief) also P for a penny, P for yourself, P for a whistle, P for cake (Piece of Cake)

Q for rations/the flicks/for fish and chips/for tickets/for a bus (Queue for..) Q for billiards (cue for billiards) Q for ills (Cure for ills) Q for a song (cue for a song)

R for mo (Half a mo’) R for Bitter (half of bitter) R for loaf (Half a loaf)

S for you (As for you/it’s for you) S for anto (esperanto) S for mation (a flying formation) S for As You Go (As Far As You Go) S we have no bananas (yes, we have no bananas)

T for two (Tea for two) T for eating (Teeth for eating) T for Gums (Teeth or Gums) T for dentures (Teeth or dentures)

U for me (You for me) U for mism (euphemism) U for ear (euphoria) U for Fox (Uffa Fox, British yachtsman and boat-builder) U for knee (euphony) U for age (youth or age) U for got (You forgot) U for ram (Ewe for ram) U for nasia (Euthenasia)

V for La France (Viva La France) V for l’amore (Vive l’ amore) V for Espana! (Viva Espana!) V for Victory

W for a bob (I’ll double you on a pushbike for a shilling) W for nothing/quits/ two hearts/trumps (Double you for nothing, quits etc – betting, gambling or poker terms) W for cards, Could be updated to W for president

X for breakfast (Eggs for breakfast

Y for mistress (Wife or mistress) also Y for husband/girlfriend/lover/kids, Y for Christ’s sake/God’s sake/goodness sake?Y for runts (Y-fronts) Y for thin (wafer thin) Y for and wherefore

Z for breeze (Zephyr breeze) Z for motor car (Ford Zephyr); Z for his hat (His head for his hat)Z for the doctor (zend for the doctor)