‘A for horses

Ok, as promised, I’m going to post the cockney alphabet here. Had to use God to find most of them, hope you’ll find it a laugh.

A for Horses (Hay for Horses), A for ism (aphorism)

B for mutton (Beef or Mutton) B for my time (Before my time) B for dinner (beef for dinner)

C for yourself (See for yourself) C for Sailors (sea for sailors) C for ships C for miles (see for miles) C for looking (see for looking)

D for ential (deferential/differential) D for dumb (deaf or dumb) D for Kate (defecate) D for rent (different)

E for brick (heave a brick) E for Adam (Eve or Adam) E for you or me (either you or me) E for Gas (Ether gas)

F for vescence (effervescence)

G for police (chief of police), G for get it (Gee, forget it!) G for take (give or take) G for Staff (chief of staff) G for Sis (g-forces) or G for horse (G-force)

H for respect (age for respect) H for retirement (age for retirement) H for it (Hate you for it) H for weight (Age for weight) H for teen (Age 14) H before beauty (age before beauty) H for consent (age of consent) H for love (ache for love) H for himself (each for himself) H cheer for the winner(A cheer for the winner)

I for an I (eye for an eye) I for get/got (I forget/forgot) I for nate (hyphernate) I for a needle (Eye for a needle) I for no (Ivanhoe) I for the Girls (eye for the girls) I for idea (I’ve an idea) I for tower (Eiffel Tower) I for idea/nasty cold (I’ve an idea/a nasty cold) I for pain (I’ve a pain)

J for dollar to spare (Do you have a dollar…)

K for teria (cafeteria) K for a cuppa (Care for a cuppa) K for coffee (Cafe for coffee) K for Restaurant (Cafe or Restaurant) K for the door (key for the door)

L for leather (Hell for leather)

M for sis (emphasis) M for sema (emphysema)

N for lope (envelope) N for eggs (Hen for eggs) N for mation (information) N for end (end-for-end) N for a penny (In for a penny…) N for it (In for it) N forcement (enforcement), N for red (infrared) N for terrible (enfant terrible)

O for the garden wall (Over the garden wall) O for my dead body/ O for goodness sake//O for the wings of a dove/O for the moon, O for crying out loud! O for there, O for come (overcome) O for a nice cold beer

P for relief (Pee for relief) also P for a penny, P for yourself, P for a whistle, P for cake (Piece of Cake)

Q for rations/the flicks/for fish and chips/for tickets/for a bus (Queue for..) Q for billiards (cue for billiards) Q for ills (Cure for ills) Q for a song (cue for a song)

R for mo (Half a mo’) R for Bitter (half of bitter) R for loaf (Half a loaf)

S for you (As for you/it’s for you) S for anto (esperanto) S for mation (a flying formation) S for As You Go (As Far As You Go) S we have no bananas (yes, we have no bananas)

T for two (Tea for two) T for eating (Teeth for eating) T for Gums (Teeth or Gums) T for dentures (Teeth or dentures)

U for me (You for me) U for mism (euphemism) U for ear (euphoria) U for Fox (Uffa Fox, British yachtsman and boat-builder) U for knee (euphony) U for age (youth or age) U for got (You forgot) U for ram (Ewe for ram) U for nasia (Euthenasia)

V for La France (Viva La France) V for l’amore (Vive l’ amore) V for Espana! (Viva Espana!) V for Victory

W for a bob (I’ll double you on a pushbike for a shilling) W for nothing/quits/ two hearts/trumps (Double you for nothing, quits etc – betting, gambling or poker terms) W for cards, Could be updated to W for president

X for breakfast (Eggs for breakfast

Y for mistress (Wife or mistress) also Y for husband/girlfriend/lover/kids, Y for Christ’s sake/God’s sake/goodness sake?Y for runts (Y-fronts) Y for thin (wafer thin) Y for and wherefore

Z for breeze (Zephyr breeze) Z for motor car (Ford Zephyr); Z for his hat (His head for his hat)Z for the doctor (zend for the doctor)

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8 Comments

  1. Ioannis

     /  17 October, 2005

    Useful for the office!

    Reply
  2. Can anyone guess that Naz has finished his dissertation and has a bit of free time on his hands? 😉

    Reply
  3. Sarah

     /  14 November, 2008

    Brilliant thanks for this as have been looking for some of the variations (I know a for ism everyone else has a for orses). Do you know the one that starts “One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight”?

    Reply
  4. sas

     /  31 December, 2009

    One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight.
    Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.

    Don’t know ant more, sorry.

    Reply
    • maboo

       /  5 April, 2014

      one fine day in the middle of the night
      2 dead men got up to fight
      back to back they faced each other
      drew their swords and shot each other
      if you don’t believe this lie is true
      ask the blind man, he saw it too

      Reply
  5. Sheils

     /  23 August, 2010

    RE sas.
    2 Dead policemen heard the nose and went and killed the 2 dead boys

    Reply
  6. Sheils

     /  23 August, 2010

    There was a man sat on the stair
    and when I looked he wasn’t there.
    He wasn’t there again today
    I wish that man would go away

    Reply
  7. Bert

     /  9 May, 2011

    one fine day in the middle of the night,
    two dead men got up to fight,
    a blind man came to see fair play,
    a dumb man came to shout hooray.

    Reply

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