Ok, so after having narrowly survived being mangled by a boy-racer, yesterday I headed off to Ioannis’ to moan about the state of affairs on the roads today. I had decided to report the guy to the police, so I used Ioanni’s Internet connection to look up the nearest station. The police operator had told me that this would be Platt Lane Police Station. And sure enough, the police website http://www.gmp.police.uk/ confirmed this, as well as showing me a handy map to locate it. Imagine my surprise when, after circling the area on my bike for a bit, I’m told by a shopkeeperess (whom I called “mate” because she looked rather boyish) that the police station had been closed down. Evidently the police themselves were unaware of this, so I hope they don’t try to lock criminals up in the library next to it now.

The shopkeeperess, obviously being privy to secret information, told me the nearest station was Greenheys. So I pedalled along on a hot day, intent upon getting this sorted. I arrive at Greenheys to find the station locked up, because it was a Sunday, and criminals don’t do Sundays I suppose. I was starting to swear when I spotted a yellow telephone to be used if the station was locked. So thus I got the chance to listen to a recorded voice for 15 minutes before I got through. To a person who could do no better than to tell me my nearest enquiry desk was in Stretford, or I could “Come the next day”!!

And police figures show crime is going down. I’m sure incidents of crime reported are going down thanks to their handy new prevention measures!!