Crime won’t crack itself

This is a phrase that often crops up in my mind. It was used by two corrupt cops in the beautifully under-stated BBC comedy called ‘Early Doors’ about regulars at a typical Manchester worker’s pub called The Grapes talking about their day. 

Though I’m a big fan of Shameless, it seems to have got carried away somewhere along the line and become too convoluted and unreal; unnecessarily so in my opinion. Whereas Early Doors had that authenticity and Northern Humour that is typified by the title phrase; for example, these afore-mentioned cops come in the back door of the pub and talk to the landlord about how some rotten fink was caught making fake tenners and then pull some out of their pockets – “You can pass these over the counter, nobody will notice on a Friday night”. The landlord, not averse to fixing the odd pub lottery himself, is continually amazed and disgusted by these two, but needs them as cop buddies, just in case. 

As the two finish their double brandies and head back to duty in their police car, one goes “Got to get going” at which the other dutifully chimes in “Crime won’t crack itself, you know” 


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