I missed playing football on Monday night in order to accompany Ioan and Jessy to the Royal Northern College of Music for an evening of “Culture”.

I didn’t miss football by choice, I just didn’t realise that the concert was on a Monday and double-booked myself.

When Ioannis mentioned it, I asked him what the concert was about, i.e. who was playing what.

He replied that it was only £6 for a ticket.

I guess you get what you paid for.

The hype around it sounded good. I mean it was called “Spring-Loaded: RNCM New Ensemble” (In retrospect I should’ve spotted the “New” bit) and the website told me: “The RNCM guitar ensemble wires up for a performance of Mackey’s wildly exciting Measures of Turbulence alongside music by Steven’s great friend Louis Andriessen (In retrospect I also should’ve spotted that Mr. Andriessen’s highest commendation was the fact that he’s a “great friend” of Steven) and a world première by Australian Kate Neal (In retrospect I also should’ve spotted the fact that she’s Australian).”

The RNCM guitar ensemble played something incomprehensible and un-hummable (which is worse), which was described by one spectator as “defining volume using the minimum of spatial expression”*, and another as “a most imaginitative use of the piccatta without too much of the somnata“* **. Pompous twits.

OK, there were some good bits, like when one percussionist was agonisingly missing every odd beat by a fraction of a second. A fact noted by all because the other percussionist was getting them right.

*Totally made-up quotes.
** Totally made-up musical terms.