An Apology

Sorry I’ve been away for so long. I know you guys are now locked in a dependency relationship, where the unwritten contract is that I continue to provide you with a source of amusement that, albeit temporarily, removes you from the hustle and bustle of everyday routine and allows you to look up to me and sigh in despair, thinking “When will I ever be like HIM???”

I got ‘The Dilbert Future’ from the library yesterday, along with some other high-brow philosophy books that I’m not going to bother you with the titles of. A quote is therefore in order here, so I quote Scott Adams, cartoonist (of Dilbert fame).

Thousands of years ago, women figured out they could disguise their preferences as “religion” and control gullible men that way. In one part of the world, I imagine the conversation went like this:

Husband: I’ll be back in an hour. I’m going to covet my neighbor’s wife,
Wife: You can’t do that.
Husband: Why not?
Wife (thinking fast): Um… God said so. He’s an omnipotent being. If you don’t obey him you’ll burn in hell.
Husband: Whoa, that was close one. Thanks for warning me… How about if I kill her husband first?
Wife: Ooh, bad news on that, too.

And I know it should be spelt neighbour, but he’s American. ‘Nuf said!

I’m supposed to be making applications, selling myself, power lunching, market re-structuring, blah blah. Instead, I’ve usually got my feet up, a couple of books strewn around, telly on and a few take-out numbers close at hand! Vive la Pigginess! (It’s an Early French term that has fallen into disuse over the ages). Pour l’example (another instance of my casual, off-hand switchery between languages that demonstrates my mastery thereof) I left home at 3pm today to get stuff sorted out, and by 5 I’m already hooked up to my IntraVenous drip and blubbering away.

I know I promised Walter Mosley a while ago, but I’ll do that tomorrow. As a taster, I’ll tell you it’s about the phenomenon of groups keeping each other informed as an alternative to media dependance and brainwashing.

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9 Comments

  1. I love reading your blog, but I never understand a thing you say, lol 🙂

    Reply
  2. That maks 2 of us! It’s because he is soooooooo superior. As he says, we need his daily blogs to make our lives worthwhile and to teach us things we couldn’t possibly have dreamed of.
    Like how to get away with sitting on your arse watching TV all day. 😛

    Reply
  3. phlegmo

     /  4 November, 2005

    You should rather ask yourselves, if it is the sole evidence, that the concept of a male god has its flaws. I´m really interested what Joseph would say about that.

    Reply
  4. Ioannis

     /  4 November, 2005

    It’s your poor english everyone. I understand everything. Shameful for english teachers to have such a low level of English.

    Reply
  5. jessy

     /  4 November, 2005

    What is the point of getting good English that nobody understands? I don’t understand most of the things here. I comment only coz I am forced to or only by that my dear friend would comment on my weblog! We don’t really understand each other but we are in a very mutual support, friendly, loving, caring class.
    Two Classic NO English quotes:
    “Me no English.”
    “Me love you long time.”

    I should have said “Me no English” when I went to the job centre this week for the interpreter job. Damn!

    Reply
  6. These English peoples. They using too many big words. What are these teachers learning them at school?! 🙂

    Reply
  7. the tv cartoon version of dilbert is pretty damn good too!

    xxB

    Reply
  8. Turbo, I guess I use too many (but then who’s to say what’s the right number, eh?) brackets in between my lines. 🙂
    Whoa Phlegmo, we leave all deep thoughts at the door when we enter this blog!
    Ioannis, only you understand me (sniff sniff). This world!! These people!!
    Rach, I’d be compelled to laugh at your comment if I didn’t know that’s how you wrote for real. Scary!! 😛
    BoS, never seen Dilbert ont telly

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

     /  18 November, 2005
    Reply

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