is a very funny book; it reminds one (or maybe just me) of the good British Cockney crime capers like Lock, Stock, and Snatch. The author clearly knows his onions.
A quote? Ok

Milo (the narrator of the book) and Goody are trying to get across the channel to France with their stolen loot. They meet a French boy who they think might be able to help them:

‘Mate, what’s your name?’
‘Brian’, he told me, which sounded like just about as un-French a name as you could get, but there you go.
‘Brian, how would you like to make yourself a hundred pounds?’
Brian held his enthusiasm in check until I’d reassured him it had nothing to do with my cock, his arse or the Internet and that all we wanted to do was to smuggle ourselves across to France.

Whilst on the ferry, they get rumbled, and are being chased by Gendarmes across the boat. Being English, they don’t particularly respect the French; being crooks they are similarly not particular to cops. Here they’re being cornered:

Waiting for us at the bottom of the second set of steps were our missing gendarmes. They were looking pretty smug about their cunning trap and pointed their guns at us shouting:
‘Il n’y a pas d’issue, vous feriez mieux d’abandonner!’ which I imagine means something along the lines of, ‘We’ve got them, we’re fantastic. Snails for everyone!‘