Waiting for the wild beasts to vote

Been busy with applications. Driving test is coming up in two days; I shall know around 13:30 on Thursday whether I hold my head high or hang it in abject shame.
Nowt much to blog, so I’ll give you some quotes from a very colourful book on African (un)politics, basically a guide book on how to become, and remain, dictator. The book is ‘Waiting for the wild beasts to vote’ by Ahmadou Kourouma and is very distinctively written. The style of narration runs thus: A singer-poet praising a “great” hunter (who became dictator for life of a West African nation) has a court jester at his side who tells us the real story in hints. This is over the period of celebration of seven nights, thus the seven chapters of the book are called the Seven Vigils. Some colourful, Confucian-like excerpts at the beginning of each chapter are

“The drum which does not punish the crime is a cracked jug”
“A fish-hook is useless to catch a hippopotamus”
“It is he whose impotence you cured who steals your wife”

and what has to be the best

“A man does not forget the shrub behind which he took cover when he fired on an elephant and hit him”

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  1. Ooh,ooh, I got another one!:”She who cooks will also wash up.” Bloody men! Offer to help will you?! I don’t care if you’re watching the blimin World chuffin Cup. And so what if it’s Brazil?! Rant over. πŸ™‚

  2. That only works in conjuction with “She who complains will be swiftly replaced”

  3. Yes but that doesn’t work when you add “He who dares to replace loses a bollock.” πŸ™‚

  4. Ah, well, that still leaves him with one spare!! Oh, btw, does anyone need a kidney??


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