Tim Harford does a satirical take on the credit crunch in this response to a Dear Economist letter.
The story revolves around a girl called Consumerella, who wanted to buy lots of pretty things…
Explaining the credit crunch to a five-year old
Posted by naz on 18 December, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/12/18/explaining-the-credit-crunch-to-a-five-year-old/
T’was the Xmas spirit
Just seen this here.
“T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the block,
Not a creature was stirring, thanks to my Glock”
Posted by naz on 21 November, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/11/21/twas-the-xmas-spirit/
Equal opportunity in space
1. NASA begins a USD 1 billion DIY project on the USD 100 billion Space Station.
2. NASA sends a woman to do the job.
1 + 2 =
3. Oops!
Read the full story here
Alright, I’m finished.
Posted by naz on 20 November, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/11/20/equal-opportunity-in-space/
Pizza / Pasta Hut
Is it me?
I understand Pizza / Pasta Hut wanting to move towards healthier offerings in the shoes of pretty much all other fast food chains.
Hence the Pizza / Pasta renaming / rebranding malarkey / confusion.
But imagine this; I receive a flyer / menu with delights for delivery such as Tuscani Chicken Alfredo for £10.99 (introductory offer as well!)
Eleven Squid for a pasta dish???? As an Intro – f*%$(!& – ductory Offer??? Do you even know what you’re up against??
Good Luck, Pasta Hut!! Or shall I say, Hasta La Vista Hut?
Posted by naz on 14 November, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/11/14/pizza-pasta-hut/
John Williams at the Bridgewater
I was at the Bridgewater Hall again yesterday. The “world’s foremost classical guitarist†John Williams was playing the guitar (John C. Williams, not the American composer John T. Williams, as the musician himself was to point out).
The first half of the set started with:
Three pieces by Vivaldi, then two pieces from Spain; I loved Valses Poetico (Poetic Waltzes) by Enrique Granados. It was followed by four of John’s own compositions: Prelude to a Song, Open End, Song Without Words and Hello Francis (in memory of his friend Cameroonian musician Francis Bebey).
The second half continued with:
Paraguayan composer Agustin Pio Barrios started the set with a beautiful score, followed by three music scores from films (Cinema Paradiso, The Deerhunter and Schindler’s List) and then a piece from Australian composer Peter Joshua Sculthorpe based on an Aboriginal secular tune called Djilile. This was followed by one more own comp in two parts (Notes in the Margin), followed by a few Irish folk songs. For the encore he played a Neapolitan melody.
As usual the venue was amazing, the sound created by one single acoustic guitar was astounding, and the Belgian Chocolate ice-cream was delicious!
Favourite piece? Djilile; it was mesmerising.
Posted by naz on 13 November, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/11/13/john-williams-at-the-bridgewater/
Change
here’s what the internet dragged up in three clicks. Quite varying opinions..
“Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.”
“What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.”
“Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.”
Robert Frost is more to the point, perhaps..
“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.”
Posted by naz on 1 November, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/11/01/change/
Market Speak
There is nothing like money to get people really enthusiastic. Here are excerpts from a French intellectual and journalist giving his two cents on the global-economy-credit-liquidity-crunch-property issue.
The original is in French, hence the Stulted Stylisations.
Money–essential to the spirit of peace–congealed, like blood in veins.
Credit–this fine word is also expressive of people’s faith in others–like a machine that jammed, and then stopped.
Confidence–the famous “confidence” that is also integral to the pact among citizens and the reasons it must be perpetuated–like a spell that is evaporating.
One recalls “Leviathan,” Rousseau’s “Social Contract,” de la Boetie’s “Discourse on Voluntary Servitude”: theories that had almost fallen out of view but in fact described what is taking place now in plain view, during a worldwide crisis unprecedented in the history of our various capitalisms.
Is man a predator of man? Does the fear of this predator slumber within us? An anxiety, formerly concealed by a poorly applied varnish of civilization, about a state of nature that is re-emerging? Consider the princes of finance, once so polite, so complicit, so civilized, who have been facing each other at the edge of the abyss, waiting to see who will be the next to fall; consider that dance of wolves, the ferocious ballet of battered predators sniffing at each other, detecting the scent of death on their neighbors, coveting their remains; consider the tango of white-hot hate that has been discreetly called the “drying up of interbank credit.”
It is as though we have been watching a deadly dance around a fire, where those same people who, through their irresponsibility, devastating egoism and, it must be said, intelligence, turned mad and led the financial world toward implosion, thinking that they could pull themselves out of the furnace by pushing the others in first.
They are all feeling their way, stumbling along. Many leaders have had a terrible time avoiding here a gaffe, a rhetorical stumble there, at quelling the nearly imperceptible bodily ticks that betray one’s vertigo.
Posted by naz on 28 October, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/10/28/market-speak/
Don’t you just love Country and Western?
I was listening to Planet Rock yesterday evening when the DJ and his sidekick were listing the top ten funny country and western song titles.
I have included some for your delectation, including some off of the Net. Please try to imagine a cowboy (or Dolly Parton) singing these songs in order to get the full effect.
Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life
I Gave Her The Ring And She Gave Me The Finger
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now
If the Phone Don’t Ring, It’s Me Not Calling You Up
If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?
Mama Get The Hammer (There’s A Fly On Papa’s Head)
Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better
C’mon Down off the Stove, Granny, You’re Too Old to Ride the Range
Don’t Run Through The Screen Door Honey You’ll Only Strain Yourself
I Can’t Love Your Body if Your Heart’s Not In It
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You
I Just Couldn’t Leave Her Behind Alone
I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here
I’m Sorry I Made You Cry, But At Least Your Face Is Cleaner
I Only Have Eyes For You, But Look What I’ve Got For Your Sister
Since You Bought The Waterbed We’ve Slowly Drifted Apart
p.s. Planet Rock Rocks! the radio blurb goes “If music be the food of love, get ready to be rogered” and “Planet Rock, 24 carat trash”.
Alice Cooper’s on in the morning with great music, dead-pan sarcasm and ‘Cooper’s Covers’ – eclectic covers of great songs by unusual artisits.
later:p.p.s. ‘Drop Kick Me Jesus’ has perhaps the best lyrics ever! “I’ve got the will, Lord, if you’ve got the toe!!” Hahaha!!
Drop Kick Me Jesus
Written by Paul Craft
Sung by Bobby Bare
RCA single PB-10790 (1976)Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous up-rights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life.Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am
Make me a piece in Your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I’ve got the will, Lord, if You got the toe.REFRAIN
Bring on the brothers, who’ve gone on before
And all of the sisters, who’ve knocked on your door
All the departed, dear, loved ones of mine
Stick ’em up front in the offensive line.REFRAIN
A lowly bench warmer I’m contented to be
Until the time when you have need of me
The flash on the big score board signs from on high
The big Super Bowl way up in the skyREFRAIN (2x)
Posted by naz on 23 October, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/10/23/dont-you-just-love-country-and-western/
Facebook! Do you know something I don’t??
Under ‘People you may know’ Facebook shows a photo of a work colleague I’ve not added and says
“Add as friend
You and xxxxx both worked at Select Property.”
Worked?? Worked?? Worked???
Facebook! Do you know something I don’t??
Posted by naz on 22 October, 2008
https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/10/22/facebook-do-you-know-something-i-dont/
The Nazmanian Devil 
