“So you’ve got all your ducks in a row
Have you figured out what you owe
Until you settle your bill
It won’t let you go

Careful what you’ve bought
And don’t you look to no warranties
You own what you have wrought
Ain’t no money-back
Money-back guarantee”

-Blues Traveler

Ali told me two people were cautioned by police in the UK for stealing wireless connections. He didn’t have all the details of the story, so I had to log on to the BBC by piggybacking on my neighbour’s connection.

A means to an end.

Here it is – Internet Theft

It’s a victimless crime!!

Can’t beat a bit of old kebab in the morning!!

(not an euphemism for the old lady)

I spoke to the Kazakh Embassy in Almaty today. ‘Twas weird talking formal Russian, I was always more of a street-lingo speaker. Guess I’ll have to brush up my skills a bit.

I see the web is buzzing with questions about my work status.

Is he employed???

Is he even employable????

Hmm…..

Shall I tell them?

After all, they’ve got precious little else to talk about.

I’m quite enjoying it actually.You can see me here and write summat on my wall. Still trying to figure out the optimal way to use it. And one complaint; I can never log in, so I have to keep emailing myself and resetting my password.

Oh well…

p.s. my photo does rather look like I have a friendly hobbit next to me. I like it.

Yes. It is true. Another one bites the dust.

I learned two very wise quotes yesterday:-

You might be a Cunning Linguist, but I am a Master Debater.

and

If you’ve got an issue, here’s a tissue.

Yes, the film was Austin Powers Goldmember.

Saw Tony Blair today coming from Deansgate. Not only has he involved us in unjust wars, he also held me up in traffic as I was rushing to the library. Can he get nothing right???

I thought of flipping the smirky twat but I had a rucksack on my back, and with my swarthy good looks I might easily be mistaken for a Brazilian.

On the application front, I was writing “…and would be excited to be invited for an interview…” when I decided to replace the word ‘excited’. My options according to Word?

• Keyed-up
• Animated
• Energised
• Wound up
• Bored (Antonym)
• Provoked
• Overwrought
• Hot and bothered
• Upset
• Calm (Antonym)

That’s halfway between somebody who markets stuff and someone who tells you how to wet Mark.

I have applied.

I hope there’s no-one called Mark at that place.

Another email says “Boost your skills with a charity role”

Underneath which are:-

1. Women’s Aid
2. MacDonalds

British Library (“The World’s Knowledge”) has collected loads of British accents from all over England and Wales. Over 30 hours of stuff to listen to. Real entertaining stuff. Go to the Collect Britain website.