Support

Shasha’s Sony monitor was flopping about, so I (was) volunteered to fix it. Half-an-hour of messing about with Google and model numbers and downloading plug-ins, and I’m finally having a chat with an analyst called Sammy. You just know this is going to be good.
A verbatim report follows:- (my snide sub-texts are in brackets)

Problem: Hi. Having problems w my monitor; it’s flopping about and needs propping up. How do I go about tightening the screws on it?user naz has entered room
analyst Sammy_ has entered room
(ooh, getting cozy)

Sammy_> Hi Naz. Welcome to Sony Online Support. I’m Sammy. Please allow me a moment to review your concern.

naz> Hi Sammy.

Sammy_> Thanks for waiting, Naz. I’m sorry that the monitor is propping up. I’ll be happy to assist you with this.

(eh? I said it’s flopping about and needs propping up. Our Sammy isn’t the sharpest. And can you stop promising to assist me and start assisting me?)

Sammy_> Are you trying to tighten the screws of the monitor? (oh, not a DIY nuthead! Does he even know what screws are??)

naz> Yes, I’ve flipped the back panel open but can’t identify the screws that will prevent the monitor from wobbling. (see, I know what I’m doing and proved it by using the technical term “back panel”. My technical prowess is further established by the fact that I coolly “flipped” it open)

Sammy_> I suggest that you contact the Sony Authorized Service Center to get further assistance to tightening the screws of the monitor as these issues are handled by Sony Authorized Service Center team. (Uh-oh, the situation is getting out of hand!!! A customer has got into our back panels!!! What if he sees that the monitor is actually run by little mice with paintbrushes???)

Sammy_> Shall I forward a link where you can find a repair location to get further assistance to tightening the screws of the monitor?

naz> yes please. (I thought this was the place where I would get further assistance for tightening the screws of the montior !?)

Sammy_> Okay, Naz. I’ll forward the page to locate the Sony Authorized Service Center.

Sammy_> When you receive the link, please click on it to open the page and let me know if you are able to view it. (I hope he knows what a link is)

Sammy_> http://www.sel.sony.com/service/plsql/rma.inquiry

naz> yes got it. Thanks. (that link was where I found you from, you klutz!!)

Sammy_> Are you able to take it from here or would you like me to assist you with setting up service? (can’t be too careful with this numbskull)

naz> I’m fine thanks, you’ve been most helpful. (he said ironically)

Sammy_> You’re welcome. (Haha, lets stick this ‘genuine customer comment’ in my annual review file!!)

Sammy_> Have a nice time, Naz.

naz> ciao (do I wish him a nice time as well?? do I send a smiley, or hug him?? oh it’s getting a bit too uncomfortable with the lovey-dovey talk, so use an off-hand Continental “ciao”)

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2 Comments

  1. Ioannis

     /  5 January, 2007

    Almost seems like you were speaking with a human! The best are these programmed bots that are even more nonsensial.

    Reply
  2. The T-Mobile emails are the most amusing, almost bordering on loving. I think these robots are on Viagra!

    Naz responds: Your comment was thrown into the moderation pile because of the word Viagra. I just realised this; I thought the offending word was T-Mobile!!

    Reply

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