Garbage In Garbage Out
Employee:- “Our Risk Management Software says your idea is too risky”
Boss:- “Try reducing one of the inputs”
Employee:- “Which one?”
Boss:- “Honesty”
Thanks to Dilbert once again!
All posts in category World
interesting stuff from my adopted planet
Sounds familiar?
Posted by naz on 20 March, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/03/20/sounds-familiar/
Ladybower hike
Went to the Ladybower reservoir in the Upper Derwent Valley, Peak District on Sunday to do the walk along the High Peak ridge, see the Lost Villages, up to Back Tor and then down to Bamford House, through Derwent along the reservoir and back to the car. Co-hikers were Ioan, Jessy, Saadia and Rob.
The reservoirs in the Upper Derwent Valley are most famous for the fact that they were used by RAF’s 617 Squadron, the Dambusters, to practice their famous Dambuster raid against the Ruhr dams in Germany in 1943. The movie “The Dambusters” was also filmed here.
The hike was exhilarating, snow was predicted but we managed to avoid bad weather on the ascent. All was going swimmingly and jokingly until we reached the exposed moors on the ridges, when we had the fortune to see grouse flapping about and wonderful rock formations. We also saw vicious sleet coming horizontally, sometimes even upwards! My ‘Lifesystems ™’ 100 dB Mountain Whistle, bought at the princely sum of £3.50 and indestructible (Salesperson: “It can even be stepped upon!”), stopped working, leaving us with no method of summoning that rescue helicopter should we have needed it.
And then we sat in a little hollow to consume a modest lunch, when suddenly things turned nasty. The temperature dropped without warning and we lost good men to hypothermia.
We finally made our way down with a huge group of hikers, who had come all the way from Liverpool by coach just to be miserable somewhere other than where they usually are, I suppose.
Hot chocolate and brandy was at the wonderful Ladybower Inn, with great atmosphere and food, and homemade ice-cream. We made it in just in time before a blizzard hit and obliterated everything for 15 minutes.
And for the next adventure, I recommend the BBC’s excellent Railway Walks on disused and abandoned railway tracks that criss-cross the UK, which the even more excellent “hiker’s totty” Julia Bradbury showcased on telly yesterday.
Posted by naz on 10 March, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/03/10/ladybower-hike/
Taking money from the poor
In his article on micro-credit, the Undercover Economist Tim Harford asks “Does no-one want to take money from the poor?”
An interesting quote:
The trouble with living on two dollars a day is that you don’t actually get two dollars a day. One day you might get five, then nothing for the next three days. Income is unpredictable. Outgoings, too, are irregular. Emergencies crop up. Under the circumstances, the most basic financial product, such as an easy-access savings account, would be invaluable.
Obvious perhaps, but something I had never given thought to.
Posted by naz on 24 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/24/taking-money-from-the-poor/
Who you callin’ fat?
According to Science, Medicine and Bioelectrical Impedence Analysis (a coin-operated machine in ASDA) I have a Fat Index of 23.1%.
This means of the 89 kilogrammes of mass I’m lugging around, 20.5 kilogrammes is pure fat. In old money that’s 3 stone 3 pounds of quivering, translucent jelly.
At a density of around 0.9 grams per mil, the volume of this fat: Volume = Mass / Density = 20500 / 0.9 = 22777 ml is equivalent to a 22 litre bag. For comparison see the excellent FUXIN mini fridge. (A product of a company whose motto is FUXIN TECHNOLOGY ‘Creat together, All-Win, Share’. Bless those ruddy Communists).
Posted by naz on 20 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/20/who-you-callin-fat/
Giggsy
“Giggs, Giggs will tear you apart, again”
Seems like the movement to support Manchester United’s evergreen hero Ryan Giggs, OBE for this year’s Footballer of the Year award is growing in momentum.
I personally think there is no better footballer on and off the pitch today.
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He’s the most decorated player in English history. His haul includes 10 Premier League winner’s medals, 4 FA Cup Winner medals, 2 Champion’s League Winner medals and 2 League Cup Winner meals. This is not including the 5 more winner’s medals he’ll get this season 😉
He has stayed with the same club throughout his career in a time when footballers switch loyalties faster than they crash their Ferraris.
He has never been sent off the pitch in his entire club career. This in a club record 788 appearances so far!
Posted by naz on 17 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/17/giggsy/
Literature and Britishness
Yesterday I went to listen to a debate on this topic at Manchester University’s Whitworth Hall. It is the same grand hall I received my post grad honours in. The debate was organised by the Centre for New Writing and the debators were the writers Martin Amis and Howard Jacobson.
I’ve been a long-standing fan of Amis (his autobiography ‘Experience’ is the only one of an author I’ve ever read) and was delighted when he came to Manchester as the Professor of Creative Writing at Manchester Uni in February 2007.
I’ll jot down the key points of the debate as an aide memoire for posterity.
Host intro: The Labour Party phases of Britain 1) Cool Britannia – pop, art. 2) Multicultural Britain – Zadie Smith’s ‘White Teeth’. 3) Return of the Empire, Britain Day – Kipling.
Amis: Death of the comic novel.
(…to be continued)
Posted by naz on 13 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/13/literature-and-britishness/
Playboy babes.
Literally.
I was rather surprised by this little news item that popped up on tea-time telly yesterday regarding the stationer W.H.Smith. Apparently they have discontinued their ‘Playboy’ line of school stationery that was being purchased, amongst others, by primary school girls.
What I don’t understand is how the decision was made to launch this line in the first place. Was it National Straw-for-Brains Week? Imagine the electric brainstorming session at W.H.Smith Product Development and Marketing!
Alex: “Fire away all the words you associate with school, my homies”
Max: “Lunch”
Daryl: “Exams”
Trix: “Playground”
“Bullies”
“Rabbits”
“Playboy”
“Cricket”
“Science projects”
Alex: “Whoa, back it up, back it up. Playboy, you say”
“That’s catchy!”
“We have a winner”
“Everyone knows Playboy”
And apparently there has been pressure on W.H.Smith by parent and consumer groups for years before they retracted the line. What’s to argue? Couldn’t they just apologise, hold their hands up and admit it was daft. This is of course part of a larger debate about sexualising youngsters, and reminds me of a stand-up comedian on telly doing a routine about what slogans can be seen written on kids t-shirts / etc. nowadays.
Posted by naz on 11 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/11/playboy-babes/
“Jeez Louise, you giving birth in instalments or what?”
also known as
“A kidney here, a liver there, it all adds up you know”
We’ve all heard of key-hole surgery. It minimses unsightly scars and is less invasive than the old cut-n-spread technique so beloved of doctors and Viktor Frankenstein. But now you can have ‘natural orifice’ surgery. Here’s the science bit: Doctors at John Hopkins have removed a lady donor’s kidney via her wazoo. Yes, thats via her lady bits. You know, “down there”. The Unmentionables.
Yes indeed. New Scientist is calling it the Final Frontier. No, I’m not making this up.
Here’s a totally random sentence I picked from the blog:
“A string attached to the bag allowed them to pull the bag and kidney out of her vagina.”
I’d pay to see a trick like that. Derren Brown, are you listening?
According to the lead surgeon Robert Montgomery “the procedure could encourage more women to donate their kidneys.” Hmmm….. let’s visit that quote again;
“A string attached to the bag allowed them to pull the bag and kidney out of her vagina.”
Course it will encourage them Dr. Course it will.
Posted by naz on 6 February, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/02/06/jeez-louise-you-giving-birth-in-instalments-or-what/
The Wrestler / At the movies Jan 2009
Went to watch The Wrestler yesterday, Orange Wednesday and all that. It was going to be Slumdog Millionaire but it was too busy, and there was no way I was going to be able to take my McDonald’ses out of my jacket pockets and scoff them with so many people around.
The movie was engaging and different; it exceeded my expectations because I thought I knew the story and so it would drag on.
A brief synopsis of the plot:
The tale is set in Nazi Germany (as all good films with Oscar pretensions have to be). A much-decorated officer Claus von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) in the Waffen-SS falls in love with Hanna Schmitz, a Dutch girl from a Jewish family (Kate Winslet), but he is sent by Wilhelm Keitel on an expedition to Bombay (Mumbai) in India to capture an elusive and endangered rare Mammoth Walrus nicknamed ‘The Wrestler’ (Mickey Rourke in an eye-watering performance. Literally.) Wandering through the slums of Bombay, Claus hears a fable from local quiz-show host Prem Kumar (Anil Kapoor) and realises that the walrus is a very curious case indeed. It is aging backwards, and instead of getting older it is getting younger everyday. This of course is causing all sorts of problems in its relationship with its mate Daisy Fuller (Cate Blanchett as a very convincing female walrus).
Amongst the highlights of the film are the gory 3D effects when a defiant Tuvia (Daniel Craig) emerges from the East European forest hideout he shares with other Jewish war refugees and gets a pickaxe lobbed into his face.
Some or all of the above may be untrue.
Posted by naz on 29 January, 2009
https://nazmania.co.uk/2009/01/29/the-wrestler/
The Nazmanian Devil 
