After a Saturday indoors helping Ioan Man plaster wallpaper over his DIY crimes, we headed out to get plastered in town.

The new Trof on Grosvenor Street is rather nice, and Saturday was a very pleasant day so we sat ouside watching the peoples.

Sandbar was nice, but I was rather worse for wear when I hit it. As usual spent a lot of time chatting to random strangers.

Obligatory kebab on the way home, with a couple of extra burgers just to be safe.

Happy St George’s Day all, the day that celebrates a Saint killing a dragon (there’s some deep symbology there that has evaded me I suspect). I suggest we all find ourselves a dragon to barbeque. Apparently it’s also the date Shakespeare died and possibly the date he was born as well.

I’ve been following a discussion on The Telegraph’s online pages about how the English should celebrate this hallowed(?) day. Unfortunately this discussion is open to the public, so there’s a good dose of nutters and offensive people with bad spelling reflecting their intelligence and/or breeding.

The main groups of comment can be illustrated as follows:-

1. “Immigrants! Bah!”
2. “Let’s just all hold hands and kiss some flowers together”
3. “I’m not a racist, I listen to Miles Davis, but…”
4. “How many St. George’s does it take to change a lightbulb?”
5. “Shoot Gordon Brown”

And as usual, my favourites the pedantic who lumber on with care for nothing but accuracy, ACCURACY!

6. “I think you’ll find that in 1345 the Duchy of Normandy was technically an outpost of the Princedom of Monrovia, due to the provisions of the Genoa Treaty signed just a decade earlier by the disposed Earl (under circumstances that some even at the time called suspect due to the involvement of Lawrence of Arabia and Harry Potter) who still maintained fiefdom by virtue of his marriage to the heiress…”

What a wonderfully divisive thing debate can be!

Footie’s on for Monday night!! 9 on 9, proper turnout, it’ll be a riot! Come on Whites!

I allowed myself some pre-match amusement at http://www.engrish.com. Obviously the bad english is funny, but to my mind the piece de resistance is the poster’s dry comments.

See here the fun for to begin on the clicks

Wow!

As usual, I turned up at the wrong bar in Northern Quarter because no matter how many times I’ve been there I always confuse M&Ps with another club on the way. Anyway, got there eventually and found Ioanni and Giles from work already at the table with Amstels, waiting for the show.

Kyla Brox is a blues vocalist and this night she had with her on stage Danny Blomeley on acoustic guitar and Anthony Curtis Marshalls on saxes. Both gave brilliant solo performances throughout the length of the gig. The guitar was taking on the bass role in most songs, whereas the sax was left to create a rhythmic background to a most beautiful and powerful vocal performance.

Which was breathtaking!!

One analogy to Kyla’s voice that popped into my mind was the way the notes of a mighty Ducati Monster Testastretta Desmodromic 998 cc engine can be sweet harmony at low revs but then, with a quick twist of the thottle, can rip your head off and stuff it down your gullet.

She has a new album out called ‘Gone’ which is great, but we bought the ‘Live in Matt and Phreds 2006’ for the memories. Folks, go forth and buy!!

Ask the man a straight question and you’ll get a straight reply..

Question: “Is the tide turning in Iraq?”

Bush: “I think –tide turning –see, as I remember –I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of –it’s easy to see a tide turn –did I say those words?”

George W. Bush
Washington, DC
06/14/2006

Ioannis brought to my attention the fact that there is a Human Resources website offering consultancy on Corporate Manslaughter.

Yes, you heard right.

Apparently,

“On the 6th April 2008 the Corporate Manslaughter and Corporate Homicide Act 2007 comes into force. This means that companies’ internal control of health and safety is a business risk that senior managers can no longer regard as a minor matter. Directors must act immediately, to raise the status of health and safety so that it assumes the same level of boardroom importance as other business risks.”

Aha! I spotted a loophole in the last sentence. As long as we raise the status of health and safety to the same level of boardroom importance as other business risks…

I just remembered a good old line: “I put the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter'”!!

Last time we went go-karting from work I joked about competitiveness using this beautiful example from despair.com Goals

Now I know this company better, this time I think there are a few more Demotivators tm I can add.

Trouble: this will be my catchphrase for the event

Consistency: seems to be the secret weapon all teams are relying on this time

Success: regarding a Director who ran over an employee last time

Mistakes: regarding the employee who got ran over

Here’s a cull of what British telly has to offer now.

We’ll start with the BBC. Because it’s the bestest.

Presenter Iain Stewart takes you through ten things you didn’t know about …. Last night it was Avalanches.

Now, these are the kind of programmes that I watch because I see them as a personal challenge. A kind of dare, if you will. Surely they can’t come up with ten new facts that I didn’t know!

But this was a brilliant programme. Did you know, for example, that in WWI Austro-Hungarian and Italian troops deliberately set off avalanches to kill each other? Around 60,000 deaths are attributed to such Weapons of Mass Destruction. And did you know that rock can behave like water in an avalanche and flow at speeds of upto 100 mph?

Another one to watch is Channel Five’s Big, Bigger, Biggest (8pm, Tuesday). Very solid content woven in a tale of technological progress. The recent (and first) episode was on airports and how Heathrow’s Terminal 5 was great with technological marvels such as a unique underground baggage carousel system with high-speed conveyer belts, automated transit baggage storage system and a whole second backup beltway just in case.

I looked at that and thought “Overkill, surely?”

Which is why it is oh-so-sweetly ironic that Heathrow’s Terminal 5 is having troubles on its opening due to baggage handling.

The next one is on skyscrapers with the beautiful Burj Dubai featuring prominently. Do not miss this one!

This song by James seems to sum up life at the moment. James was formed in Whalley Range, Manchester, and have been supported by acts like Nirvana, The Stone Roses, Happy Mondays and Radiohead.

Are you aching for the blade?
That’s OK, we’re insured
Are you aching for the grave?
That’s OK, we’re insured

We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living

Daniel’s saving Grace
She’s out in deep water
Hope he’s a good swimmer
Daniel plays his ace
Deep inside his temple
He knows how to serve her

We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living
We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living

Daniel drinks his weight
Drinks like Richard Burton
Dance like John Travolta
Now
Daniel’s saving Grace
He was all but drowning
Now they live like dolphins

We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living
We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living

We’re getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living
Oh, getting away with it all messed up
Getting away with it all messed up
That’s the living

Getting away with it
We’re getting away with it
That’s the living
That’s the living

I spent my Saturday evening watching a woman strum her pipa.

Yes I did, and no, it wasn’t that kind of a weekend. The pipa is a traditional Chinese stringed instrument similar to the Arabic ‘oud’. I was in fact at the Bridgewater Hall for a performance by the Hong Kong Chinese Orchestra, an 85-piece ensemble playing both traditional and modern music.

Quite enjoyable.

Meanwhile the Russian Symphony Orchestra was holding a superb piece of ballet, “Sleeping Beauty” in Buxton. I must admit here that I don’t really know if it is superb. I was just yomping around the Peak District on Sunday with Ioannis and Jessy where I saw the performance being advertised. I just thought I could use it as a nice segue to join my Saturday with my Sunday.

There.

The best part of the walk was actually the walk guide Ioannis had downloaded from the WorldWideWonderWeb. Some nerd had written vivid instructions, complete with colourful histories of elves living in caves and including the time it would take to accomplish the walk.

And how did he measure the time, I hear you ask? Let him tell you in his own words:

“The time estimates used above are based on a walking speed of 2 miles per hour (3.2 km/h) plus 1 minute for each 30ft (10m) of either climbing or descent. This gives a reasonable estimate for a normal walking speed, with time included for the inevitable sit down, and looking around. This time should only be taken as a guide, as you will have a better knowledge of your own walking speed.”

Jokes apart, do go and check out Peakwalk.org for info on walks in the Peak District.

God Bless The Internet and Her Populace!

p.s. the irony of me posting a note on the internet about a nerd posting notes on the internet is not lost on me.