I popped in ‘Heat’ last night ‘coz I was bored and “there’s nowt on telly anyway”. That’s how they used to make ’em: Al de Niro and Robert Pacino, Val Kilmer, and that mexican-looking bloke, and that italian-looking bloke. A great bunch, blasting all 31 flavours of crap out of banks, armoured trucks, cops, and innocent bystanders. Reading Rachey’s blog, I had to agree. The precise reason I reached for Heat was that I wanted no moral dilemmas whatsoever. I seem to spend too much time nowadays philosophising about the rights and wrongs of some exceedingly impalusible and impossible movie situations. (I guess it’s just my sensitive and caring nature 🙂 )
Having said that, Hollywood seems to be unable to resist that “confrontation scene”. Allow me to explain. Seeing as how the whole movie is about the cop and the baddie battling each other, they went to extraordinary lengths, stretching the credibility of the plot, in order to put Al and Rob face to face in a battle of words that showed how much they were real men, and grudgingly admired each others intelligence, but had to do what they do.
But that Ashley Judd, COR!!

“Naz gets a gold star in Media Studies. Come to the front of the class, dear boy”

Some catching up to do

If you’ve visited Ioannis’ blog, you’ll know of a nice Saturday I had. I’ll be taking a leaf out of Boudica darling’s blog, and regale you with accounts of my own mystery person, Ms. X. I’m hoping they’ll go someway to explaining why I’ve been so lax with my blogging duties, if you know what I mean! But only after I obtain permission. I see clearly now why Turboslut has gone private with a separate blog for friends only; though I must complain to her that I’m not going to register to comment, and therefore she must set it up in a way to allow me, a non-blogger to comment. (Actually, I just went over to see what she’s on about. HELLOOOO!!)

Parcels accepted

I know my birthday’s in Octomber (as a Greek friend of mine would pronounce it), but here’s a list of books from the biography section of Waterstone’s that I might like to own (the books, not the section). I was mooching about there looking for ways to burn the 2000 pence worth of book vouchers I have, but I have to make sure I make the most of the opportunity, and spend the minimum amount of real hard cash on top of the vouchers.
So here they are (so far; more additions are definitely planned)

  • “Are you talking to me?” John Walsh
  • “Addict” Stephen Smith
  • “10,000 miles without a cloud” Sun Shuyun
  • “Down and out in Paris and London” George Orwell
  • “A life inside” Erwin James
  • I’m currently enjoying Sue Townsend’s ‘Adrian Mole and the weapons of mass destruction’. After having read ‘The secret diaries aged 13 3/4’. I’m also trying to keep in touch with my Russki by reading Dostoevsky’s ‘Notes from the underground’, but man!! can he drag on!! I mean, what’s his problem?? Thank heavens there are explanatory notes. 4 days, and I’m still on page 7! And I wanted to get ‘War and Peace’ done over this week!! Wake up, Sunshine.

    This is one sentence

    Скажите мне вот что: отчего так бывало, что, как нарочно, в те самые, да, в те же самые минуты, в которые я наиболее способен был сознавать все тонкости «всего прекрасного и высокого», как говорили у нас когда-то, мне случалось уже не сознавать, а делать такие неприглядные деянья, такие, которые…ну да, одним словом, которые хоть и все, пожалуй, делают, но которые, как нарочно, приходились у меня именно тогда, когда я наиболее сознавал, что их совсем бы не надо делать?

    Twenty commas? I rest my case, Your Honour.

    Ecological sciences

    Oh, and my sister’s now on the website of her research guru. Checkitout. Click on current assistants. My sas is the one with an Msc in Applied Genetics (Number 9 for the lazy sods who can’t read).
    Must say, I visited the home page of the professor, and he looks well dodgy.

    Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

    I know I should be writing about the New Year, and how Happy it was, and the usual carp. But instead, I’ll pose you a question that kept me awake until I fell asleep. Do kids nowadays choose careers based on what they see on telly? I mean, have the role models for young kids changed? Do they still want to be pilots and firemen (or, as in my case, reliable IT technicians), or do they now want to be “I’m a celebrity, get me on a crap show” or “International Men of Mystery. Yeah baby, groovy”? I guess the only person qualified to answer would be a career advisor for schulers (do they have those in the UK?).

    Which seamlessly links into the next topic in this sermon. Does anybody want to be a spy? And is there a market anymore for trench-coated, ninja-deadly intelligentsia in this post-Cold war era? I’ve borrowed a DVD of BBC telly series based on John le Carre’s novel of the same name (if you haven’t guessed the name yet, look at the title of this rant) and I was instantly back in those days in Moscow when I’d bend every now and then to “tie my shoelaces” or “gaze at the wares in the shop windows”. You may not have realised this, but this is Top-spy technique for finding out if anybody is following you. Of course those K.B.G folk wanted me for my inexhaustible knowledge of weapons systems and world-reknown ballistic expertise (I used to be a mean shot with a rubberband in school). The series lasts 315 minutes, and I couldn’t tear myself away from it, even when I thought I heard the soft tread of a rubber-soled shoe in my hallway at 4 a.m. (the hour of the assassin, in case you didn’t know. If you think you’re gonna get snuffed, you can sleep peacefully at any hour except 4 a.m. Course, it didn’t work for J.F.K), which would usually precipitate my springing into action with a stout staff in preparation for the operative from Mossad.

    Talking of DVDs, I saw a film advertised on telly as being available on DVD and “MUD” or something. What!! Has the technological advance skipped by me again? Just when I had learned to stop toasting and buttering the DVDs as well!! (They’re not really indestructable. Trust me, I should know)

    Do I look bothered??

    We’re going to get our marks at 3 p.m. Slightly elevated blood pressure, still breathing quite relaxed. I got Iron Maiden’s ‘Killers’ album out from the library, haven’t heard it in ages!!
    (Later) Ok, we all passed.

    My weekend in prose

    Highlight of the weekend was, of course, the double victory: England beating Argentina in a most unbelievable cliff-hanger of a ride (Rooney scored, Owen twice, so why again do we have Crouch on the pitch??) as well as The Lions beating the Kiwis 38-12, which gives them a chance in the Tri-Nation finals.

    Was listening to Jonathan Ross over the radio this weekend, he played a Benny Hill song which had a line that goes something like this
    “You were whispering sweet nothings,
    She was whispering nothing-doings”
    which really cracked me up. I couldn’t find that song on t’Net, so I cannae guarantee the accuracy of the lyrics because it were right early int morning an’ all.

    I watched T’ Last Samurai (again), and if you happened to peep into my bedroom late that night you would chance upon a nekkid Robinson Crusoe-esque character swirling and cavorting about with an Ikea cupboard rod in poses that would embarass the most stalwart of Japanese sword-instructors. Ah, but I do tend to get carried away with that film. And the beauty of Japan is breathtaking in that film, especially as one is constantly reminded of the ever-present duality of modernism and traditionalism in that country.

    Also obtained a most delectable little book called ‘Driving over lemons: An optimist in Andalucia’ which is quite a pleasant, feel-good read.

    You never hear me complain

    Went down to Manchester’s famous Curry Mile yesterday to dine with Mom and Paul. Here’s an incident that will help you familiarise yourself with Mother Dear. The waiter brings her (second) pint of Kingfisher and absent-mindedly places it on the neighbouring table (his heart just wasn’t in the job that day. But then, it never has been so perhaps it’s foolish of me to expect anything otherwise). At which my mother almost leaps up and ‘says’ (shouts) “That’s mine, that’s MINE!”. Waiter Person, not really on the same frequency as his customers, nor indeed the rest of normally-functioning humanity, casually strolls by. Neighbouring-Table Person then hands me the pint which was in front of his companion, at which His Companion Person goes to Mom “You really wanted that, didn’t you? Imagine if I’d taken a sip!” Not much, you might say. But it’s one of those you-had-to-have-been-there kind of moments. The Embarassment.
    Oh, and I put her up as my champion against anybody in the Let’s See How Many Foreign Places I Can Casually Mention I’ve Been To On Holiday To Impress Total Strangers During The Course Of A Meal tournament.

    This site is changing with the times, nazmania.co.uk is up and partially running. I will soon be closing down this site, but don’t worry, I’ll keep everyone posted. I have become aware that my earlier presentation was making it difficult for people to read, and therefore admire, my elegant prose, so although I liked the colours, I might stick with the Crop Circles theme. Of course, it goes without saying that I sincerely hope this minor unsettlement in your otherwise dull, routine and monotonous lives will not cause you much discomfort.

    Oh, and Dad woke me up with a phone call at ten a.m., yes, that’s TEN a.m., today and belaboured my partially-booted brain for half-an-hour with interest-rates, external-surveyors and the advantages of semi-detatched properties over flats while I hopped around in excrutiatingly embarassing poses trying to restrain my body from giving in to its first-thing-in-the-morning urges. I only hope the Neighbour Folk weren’t looking out their windows!

    To continue

    where I left off, I had this most wonderful night on Friday somewhere in town with these friends of mine. Someday a full review will follow, in the meantime you can read Jill’s version of that crezzy, crezzy night! Only must say, does anybody remember those weird high-kicking Kung-Fu characters in Copa Cabana, or was I hallucinating?
    P.S And for those not ‘in the know’, Fatima Fong is apparently this Huge asian lady who works in the adult industry, and whose company my friends thought I would be most delighted with having. Not in flesh, of course. But in “life-like rubber”. And still with all her “three succulent holes” (I’m not making this up).

    A great day/night

    A quick fix of the Net from Ioannis’ before we head out for a night of debauchery. Last night listening to this great band ‘Crispy Duk’ in Bar …Sh in Cheadle with Tinks, Jessy and Ioannis. It was the greatest night I’ve had in a long time (and that’s saying something guys!!). I’ll fill you in with details tomorrow, if I wake up from tonight’s hopefully drug-induced stupor (a man must have his dreams).
    As an aside, Ioannis goes to the top of blog ranks because of ‘services to mankind’. I being the representive of mankind that he serviced.