How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, and how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.
-Bob Dylan

Full lyrics here

There was a good friend of my sister’s, way back when I used to drive my first car (circa 1994), who lived close by and shared a common interest with us of books, chaat (an Indian savoury dish) and Iron Maiden. She was also my sister’s classmate for a while, and they used to go to college on my sas’ grossly under-powered moped, which was the butt of many a joke. Many years later (smartly bringing this narrative back to the present day), I discovered via Yas that she was in America, so I sent her an email. Unfortunately I stored her email address under the nickname that we used to call her by at the time, which wasn’t flattering, although by no means was it meant to be offensive but rather endearing. Guess what happens next. Yes, through some interweb thingy faux pas she discovers this and, to put it mildly, is not amused. Of course, nothing one does can assuage her feelings now, so what does one do?

I saw this French film t’other day. Basically there’s this forty-something called Angele who works with two other younger girls in a beauty salon where everyone is so pretentious and superficial. Angele has troubles of the heart (surprise!) and finds it difficult to commit to a man that her girlfriend would jump at, because (in a French accent please) “Zere eez no such theeng as Lurve. One person always gets hurt”. It ends with snow, them in a clinch, she wearing a ball-gown of Cinderella proportions (which he presented her, because what man would be desirable if he wasn’t financially secure. Oh, and of course, he’s a sculptor. Don’t they have decent jobs in France, or is everybody un pain-in-the-effing artiste?) and sparkles raining down on them from above where his ex-girlfriend has just shot out the shop’s neon sign. Awwww, bless!

I see the discovery of a tenth planet, temporarily called 2003 UB313, has gone remarkably unremarked upon. It is 97 times further from the Sun than Earth, bigger than Pluto, and what would you like to call it?
New Scientist also tells us that the risk of schizophrenia more than doubles in individuals who suffered famine in childhood. On a lighter note, the data was gathered from the “Wuhu” region of China. Maybe it’s not a coincidence.

This guy wrote an open letter to the Kansas Education Board, saying that if they wanted to promote the theory of an ‘Intelligent Being’ (God) over Evolutionism, they have to remember that there are many ‘Intelligent being’ theories. This letter is great!! And go to the site, the illustrations are even better.

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

….

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

….

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.

P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.

I particularly love the artisitic drawing.