Yep, that’s what it feels like to be in my shoes! That’s the feeling of being top cat, alpha male. Leader of the pack. Leather seats, mahogany desk. Havana cigars, 18-year-old scotch.

Gareth swung round to pick me up yesterday in time for the Champions League fixtures. We dropped in at Jessy’s to pick her up, but she was cooking something (always eating, that woman) so we went on ahead. Liverpool was on the big screen at The Footage. an eventful but goal-less first half later we were joined by Jessy, then Adam, then Miss X respectively. The pints were a-flowing, the peoples were a-talking and all was well with the world. Liverpool lost, and are out of the Champions League, Arsenal managed to hold Real Madrid and are through. Then headed home to feast on the fine chili con carne I had prepared earlier (in case we decided to go to Lara’s party). Went to sleep trying to watch ‘Mulholland Drive’ (I’ve only seen the lesbian bits) with a full belly and a sigh of contentment.

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Yesterday was boy’s day in, Ioannis and I watching Barcelona teach Chelsea and Morinyo some manners. What a sad loser he is! Whereas Ronaldinho was at his magnificent best, showing great discipline as well as skill, and coming up with a brilliant goal as he muscled even Terry out of his way! Fantabulousa! we had the fine company of Miss Stella (Maiden name Artois) and Freschetta pizzas that melt in your mouth.

Miss X and I might be going over to Lara’s for a Mexican Dindin party; her brother’s apparently gifted her something called a tepin or something which means flat grill to you and me. So it’s fajita time, burrito time and mescale time! It’s gonna clash with the Liverpool v Benfica AND Arse n all v Real Madrid matches though, hence I said we might be going over. I need to get the Hollywood game from Jessy so that we can play it at the party. If you haven’t heard of the board game, go out and get it now. Nothing short of an A-bomb (or Nana’s farts) can break up a happy family as effectively as that. Monopoly-Shomopoly. You have to travel across the board buying studios and tv channels, similar to “that other board game mentioned above” but there’s also an inner track you have to go round making movies, buying actors, actresses, directors and screenplays, and that’s how you make money. Terrificly bloodthirsty game.

I forgot to tell you guys that I booked my driving theory test this Monday. It’s due for the 20th, the Monday after the next. So I’m supposed to be slogging through the test books and whatnot, only, being a Mr. Know-it-all, I figure I’m going to sail through the whole thing anyway, so why bother? After all, I’m not likely to do a Jessy and fail, am I?

Oh, and I also forgot to mention Monday’s ground-breaking Chicken Alexander The Great Salad (patent pending). Somebody only wanted lasagne, but while it was cooking she had the chance to sample my special (not a metaphor).

Ingredients:

Required. Oh yes. Definitely. Becomes much more difficult without them.

Cooking method:

Open the packet of cooked chicken breast. Drizzle (you can pour if you don’t know how to drizzle) some olive oil into a frying pan and start browning the chicken pieces. Add croutons, or just tear up some bread, preferably the end slices because they are thicker. That’s what I did. Hovis medium, best of both. Keep shaking.

Meanwhile in another corner of the kitchen, open the packets of shredded lettuce and salad leaves. Throw them into a bowl (I used a cooking pot) and add pepper to it. Open the packet of grated cheese (ASDA sells a “Pizza and pasta cheese mix” with mozzarella, cheddar, pecorino and manchego cheeses). I had never even heard of manchego before, but it were brill! Toss them all together, and then chop up some pickled silverskin onions and chuck them in as well. I used around 8.

Jumping back to the chicken which you have been shaking all along, add some ginger and garlic paste, as well as a teaspoon of pesto. Mix well. Then dump the whole flipping deal on top of the rabbit food. Shovel some mayonnaise on top, as well as some balsamic vinegar and serve immediately.

Voila!! (French for “there you have it, you illiterate spawn of a good-for-nothing peasant”. Pronounced ‘Voy-Lah’)

Ioannis had a taste of it, and even though it was a day old he couldn’t help ranting and raving about the great taste. Go on Ioannis, tell ’em like it is.

This morning, I woke myself up by playing a CD that my sister had compiled and sent me on the occasion of one of my numerous birthdays (every year, dammit! EVERY YEAR!). Song No. 7 (or 8, I’m not so sure now that I have to put my reputation on the line) was NOT by Weird Al Yankovic but by Bob Rivers and was a parody of AC DC’s song “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap”. This song was called “Dirty deeds done with sheep”, and had me rolling on the ground (I mean alone and in a totally non-sexual context). I was instantly reminded of a friend of mine (you know who you are, Rob 😛 ).

This is the middle stanza

“My friend Larry has a little lamb,
Her fleece is white as snow,
He keeps bragging about her night and day,
Someone should tell him no.
Look at the flock, they’re all in shock,
Here comes that mutton fan,
Knock off the fleece, give them some peace,
Don’t be a barnyard man.”

And then this the bridge.

“Velcro gloves, kneepads, late-night dates.
Done with sheep.
Warning signs, electric fences, high voltage.
Done with sheep.”

Yesterday Ms X, Jessy, Nalleli (Jessy’s housemate), Victor (Nalleli’s friend), another girl (who remained un-introduced so I don’t know whose friend she is) and I went to AMC to watch ‘Lucky Number Slevin’. It was a real rollercoaster ride of a movie. I was wondering how they were going to manage having such a large cast in the movie. The answer seemes to be: by killing everyone off at the first opportunity. The flick really grabs you by the gonads. There’s some really cool scenes, great one-liners. Basically a film worthy of Tarantino (Pulp Fiction) or Guy Ritchie (Snatch, etc.). And watch out for the psychedelic wallpaper everywhere!
My rating? 3 out of 10: A must see (I’m a tough customer)

Nothing to say.
Sunday’s a good day.
Slippery frost on the ground.
Chilly wind nipping around my heels.
But it feels okay.

Oh, great nail-biting victory for England against Uruguay yesterday, it was thrilling to watch. It ended 2-1, with the visitors getting ahead in the 26th minute with the goal of the year; a volley to the topleft corner from 40+ yards out. But England came back with Crouch, and then deservedly Cole got one in the 93rd minute.
Highlight of the match? well, apart from the spectacular goal by the Uruguayan Pouse, I really enjoyed watching Crouch and Wright-Phillips standing next to each other as they were waiting to be substituted. Crouch is 6’7″ and W-P isn’t an inch over 5 foot, I reckon. Haha, you can’t write such comedy!!