Had a great time watching ‘Le diner de cons’ with Ioanni, Robert and Ali. We were laughing like nobody’s business!! There were some choice phrases that just read beautifully. I love French films (as well as other European / Independant) because they dare to be different. The simple, well-written plot required no gimmicks, and the dialogue and acting was spot on.

Great!

On a sourer note, I have become aware that somebody seems to be having conversations with some of my web contacts on MSN pretending to be me! I haven’t used MSN in yoinks’ years because I don’t have the tinternet at home, and the library doesn’t allow messaging services. So my advice to everybody out there dying to have words with me is: Pick up the phone. And if somebody is on MSN asking you to do all sorts of perverted things, then that person may not necessarily be me! 🙂

Dear e-mail

Unfortuntely, the position of Customer Service Manager has now been
filled internally.

apologise for this.  i will however keep your cv on file to look at in
the future.

Kindest regards,

The XXXXXXXX Team
Manchester

Why would they want to “look at” my c.v. in the future?? Might I have unwittingly produced a work of Modern Art the likes of which you see on telly going for enormous sums of money? 

P.S this is an actual email I received today. I have cut-n-pasted here with no alterations whatsoever.

P.P.S this Stephen Streater guy looks like Ioannis

P.P.P.S which of my dear readers has the 1920 x 1200 screen?

Is it me, or are journalists getting increasingly stupid? I read the Manchester Evening News almost daily because it’s great (= free) and they have a good puzzle section.

Yesterday’s headline was “Outrage as funeral cortege has to pay toll”. The toll in question was 12p, and why should they expect not to pay it, nay be “outraged” that they have to pay the same toll as everybody else just because they’re toting a stiff in the back?

Another “outrage” was about Manchester City Centre’s famous electronic bollards, or “stupid-person catchers”, as I call them. Thanks to Si (who’s back out of hospital fresh as a daisy, I might add) for e-mailing this link showing idiots disobeying the No Entry signs and then being “outraged” when their vehicle gets damaged. Duh!

And then there are the interviewers who, armed with their cameras set out to show how much they know about the situation by asking questions like “Do you think the public will be outraged by this situation because 14.6% have said so in our poll, and given the recent increase in tensions you must be particularly aware of a breakdown of communication that seems to be undermining the process put in place that were so highly commended only late last August by the Lord High Commissioner ?”

They don’t trust the Expert they are interviewing to be clever enough to come up with words describing the situation themselves, so the helpful interviewer only allows them the “Yes” or “No” option. Also is the news more newsier if they are “Live” standing outside some bloody building??

Yossarian is explaining his dreams about fish to Major Sanderson, a psychiatrist.

…”Just why do you think,” he (Major Sanderson) resumed when he had finished, looking up, “that you made those two statements expressing contradictory emotional responses to the fish?”

“I suppose I have an ambivalent attitude toward it”

Major Sanderson sprang up with joy when he heard the words ‘ambivalent attitude.’ “You do understand!” he exclaimed, wringing his hands together ecstatically. “Oh, you can’t imagine how lonely it’s been for me, talking day after day to patients who haven’t the slightest knowledge of psychiatry, trying to cure people who have no real interest in  me or my work! It’s given me such a terrible feeling of inadequacy.” A shadow of anxiety crossed his face. “I can’t seem to shake it.”

“Really?” asked Yossarian, wondering what else to say. “Why do you blame yourself for gaps in the education of others?”

“It’s silly, I know,” Major Sanderson replied with a giddy, involuntary laugh. “But I’ve always depended very heavily on the good opinion of others. I reached puberty a bit later than all the other boys my age, you see, and it’s given me sort of – well, all sorts of problems. I just know I’m going to enjoy discussing them with you. I’m so eager to begin that I’m almost reluctant to digress now to your problem, but I’m afraid I must. Colonel Ferredge would be cross if he knew we were spending all our time on me. I’d like to show you some ink blots now to find out what certain shapes and colours remind you of.”

“You can save yourself the trouble, Doctor. Everything reminds me of sex.”

“Does it?” cried Major Sanderson with delight, as though unable to believe his ears. “Now we’re really getting somewhere! Do you ever have any good sex dreams?”…

I was really scared that my blog was down today, as I couldn’t get through to it. But now I’m not, so it’s ok.

Nothing much to say, no political debate to rave about, no insane snippet of news to roll my eyes over, so I’ll just say a big HELLO to all my international readers out there stalking me, and “Keep sane”.

later: Oh sorry, almost forgot. Sha and I visited Simon in hospital on Saturday. Waited for Tracy and Co. to show up at 5 p.m., but we gave up waiting by 6 p.m. and went in on our own. Hope he’s better now.

And the first incidence of a “web rage attack” has been reported in the newspapers. Someone insulted some other one on the web, and the some other one tracked the someone down and hit him on his own doorstep with a pickaxe handle.

So, “Nemo me impune, lacessit”!!!!

I saw this interesting quote by Herman Hesse on my google page today. 

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.

And there was an interesting discussion about religion and fashion in Turkey on BBC’s This World programme yesterday. Well, I say it was an interesting discussion, but I was only waiting for the shots of scantily-clad women strutting up and down the catwalk.

Turkey is quite unusual in being at once both secular and striving to join Europe while also retaining strictly conservative elements. I guess I should not comment without going there. But this dichotomy was reflected in the predictions of two entrepreneurs in the garment industry with very different personal beliefs which in turn coloured their business strategy.

One was pious, religious, and predicted a return to Islamic values in Turkish society and to profit from this he had built a new factory to produce garments (including full-length swimwear for ladies) that confirmed to religious standards, or what he interpreted those standards to be anyway.

The other was a young, modern Turk who had inherited a well-known lingerie company and, facing immense price competition from China and Hong Kong, decided to go upmarket with quality goods. He was counting on European attitudes towards undergarments catching on and increasing his sales.

It was a thought-provoking insight into the two sides of Turkey today. I am reminded of a beautiful and powerful German-Turkish film I saw called “Gegen die Wand” which brought up many of the same issues and in which you saw Turkish people trying to come to terms with this same split, as well as other issues.

Watched The Manchurian Candidate yesterday, it was a really engrossing film. Missed England v Holland though. The next game is far away in February!

Nothing much to write about today, so I’ll set my readers a challenge. Can anybody write a song about mozarella to the tune of the great dance-floor favourite “Hey Macarena!” by the pervy Los Del Rio. I’m obviously envisaging something along the lines of “Hey, Mozarella!”, but you can do the rest.

Still reading Catch 22. Two lieutenants are ordered to take Major Danby outside and shoot him.

The two young lieutenants nodded lumpishly and gaped at each other in stunned and flaccid retulance, each waiting for the other to initiate the procedure of taking Major Danby outside and shooting him. Neither had ever taken Major Danby outside and shot him before.

And here’s another good one. Yossarian runs to the hospital with a “liver complaint” whenever he doesn’t feel like flying bombing missions and being shot at.

Yossarian owed his good health to exercise, fresh air, teamwork and good sportsmanship; it was to get away from them all that he had first discovered the hospital.

One company was offering me a “fantastic boneus!” Bone us? Hmmmm……

I saw an article in The Independent recently titled “America’s Worst President”.

Three of the six contributors chose George Dubyah Bush, while the remaining three mentioned some other person, and then spent the entirety of the allocated space explaining why Bush should not be chosen as the worst president.

Yesterday’s Manchester Evening News had this thought by William Hazlitt (1821) – “No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of greatness is the page of history.” The same might apply for greatness or unparalleled distinction in any amount of things; idiocy, unworthiness, arrogance, etc.

I have some little-known nuggets of information about other great Americans.

While in term as President, George Washington’s policy towards the Native Americans is clearly demonstrated in this statement:- “The immediate objectives are the total destruction and devastation of their settlements. It will be essential to ruin their crops in the ground and prevent their planting more.”

President Thomas Jefferson said “This unfortunate race, whom we had been taking so much pains to save and to civilize, have by their unexpected desertion and ferocious barbarities justified extermination and now await our decision on their fate,”

whereas President Andrew Jackson believes “They have neither the intelligence, the industry, the moral habits, nor the desire of improvement which are essential to any favourable change in their condition. Established in the midst of another and superior race, and without appreciating the causes of their inferiority or seeking to control them, they must necessarily yield to the force of circumstances and ere long disappear.”

Sounds familiar?

A team of researchers from Manchester University led by Dr. Piers Robinson has found a large bias against critics of the war during the “conflict”.

Dr. Robinson said “Coverage overwhelmingly reflected the official line in the moral case for the war. More than 80% of TV and press stories mirrored the government position, while fewer than 12% challenged it. Most reports did not discuss humanitarian operations at all.”

Meanwhile, in my calendar of forgotten English by Jeffrey Kacirk, I find the word ‘Cooping’, which I thought was the term for barrel-making.

Apparently, it is “Collecting and confining [voters] several days previous to an election in a house or on a vessel hired for the purpose. Here they are treated with good living and liquors, and at a proper day are taken to the polls and “voted, “ as it is called, for the party.” (James Bartlett’s Dictionary of Americanisms, 1877)

Rather dodgy, you might say. But Kacirk says “As Bartlett’s definition suggests, politicians once routinely provided free alcohol to voters, a practice called “treating.” In fact, the lion’s share of George Washington’s recorded election expenses, when he ran for Virginia’s colonial legislature in 1758, went towards the purchase of spirituous liquors used for cooping.”
 

Shasha took Ali and I in her car to ASDA and InStore so Ali could buy some stuff for his new place. We both buckled ourselves in tight, and crossed every crossable part of our body. And we made it there AND back safely. The Gods must have been smiling!!

Naw, she’s not that bad. She’s now a Confident, Mature Young Woman Making Things Happen and Moving Forward In Life.