..or White Night, for those not fluent in Russian. I got another invitation to a party at Late Room today from the Russian Society, except this time I don’t know when it is, simply because it’s not mentioned. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to meet them another time.

I like so absolutely have to share this most super-dupery time I had yesterday. I bought a multipak (why don’t they call it multi-pack?) of Cheesy Wotsits and as I sat down to enjoy them bag by miniscule bag, I had the even more delightful opportunity to peruse the amazing jokes they have printed on the back. Having not abased myself before the Altar of the Cheese Snack for an extended period of time, I was unaware of the fact that the jokes had actually been updated from the old favourites. Now, I am bearing in mind that the target audience for this particular (and all other such) snacks are the pre-career criminals (that’s before the age of 15 in this country), but even so…

Q: What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?
A: The space bar.

This joke is just wrong on so many levels, I am experiencing Lost-Rambler-Syndrome just planning my descriptive path through all of them. I actually feel like Picasso must have when he looked up from his Art and realised not all people were as ugly as his mother.
(I was going to use this Wotsit story for a one line throwaway joke, but look how much mileage I got from it!)

Before I go any further, I’ve got a big shout for these mystical little people with the ears like the Palo Alto telescopes who scour the world and select the best of World Music (with capitals, mind you) for my delectation. I got to hear about Oumou Sangare, and I’m now pretty much determined to get her album. The last time I felt that way was when Zoe attacked Phil with a hot iron down at the Pub because Sheila was seeing Barry (I have no clue what I’m on about, but I’m drawing on my less-than-expert knowledge of British Soaps hoping this will draw a picture of Great Moment and Occasion for those Eastenders fans out there). No, actually it was Estrella Morente that last scared me with her…. (ooops Naz, what happened? No more adjectives?). “Where were you when KFJ died?” What about “where were you when I heard Estrella for the first time?”, eh?

Along with these gems comes an insight into altruism. As I read this book about living as a farmer/herder in Andalucia, I see the importance of sharing in the community that amongst these people doesn’t even have a name, or at best is called ‘being neighbourly’. A simple example of ‘What goes around comes around’, perhaps. And this a concept which we are still, thankfully, familiar with. Karma, I’ve heard it called.

After having a shut-eye at 2 a.m. (thanks to fiddling about with a god-awful game given me called ‘Imperialism II ‘ (if that was the second attempt I’d hate to see the first version)), I am rudely awoken this morning by the sound of my phone set full blast on ‘Sultans of swing’. Oh, yes, today’s the busy day. I’m due for a bit of kneeling and grovelling at the bank (their grand payment in to my account didn’t last long), followed by mind-numbing talks at Britannia Building Society, a spot of lunch, and then more of the same at RBS. As I loiter in the library killing some time after a successful raid on the HSBC coffers, I’m told that Britannia have no advisors in that day. Which makes me wonder why I was specifically booked in then. This puts paid to my carefully managed schedule, so following a leisurely amble I turn up at old MBS, where as an already ex-student I’m not unwelcome, although I keep getting “what’s he still doing here, tha’ bloody Lurker” looks from people.
Anyhoo, I’m off now to RBS, to see if they can boldly go where others dare not.

I’ve been taking a quick tour of China-related blogs using my special web-resource called China blog list.
I found a very funny home-made video by a student at Cornell uni.
I also drifted in on a Chinese Calendar. (I love the web. This Chinese calendar, as you can see from the top-left corner of the site, is a Scotland On-line production!!). I was born in the Year of the Snake, so apparently I am

…romantic and deep-thinking, wise and charming, although they tend to dismiss others too quickly and are a bit stingy with money. Ideal jobs include teaching or psychiatry.

Amongst other famous people born this year are Val Doonican and Sir Roger Banister. Sorry, WHO??
Apart from taking insult at that “stingy with money” bit, I also wonder how does it work out that one year everybody has the same characteristics?? I am reminded of a killer scene from Life of Brian, where Brian is born a Capricorn.

Brian’s mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian’s mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian’s mother: And that’s Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that’s just him.
Brian’s mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there’d be a lot of them.

I mentioned this to Karen in an email right now. She’s a big Wallace and Gromit fan, and was really surprised when I told her, oh-so-many years ago, that I wasn’t that well acquainted with them.
But I’ve grown to love the short animation clips that Aardman Animations produces and are shown on ITV. British viewers will be most familiar with this clip they produced for a government campaign about how to behave in the countryside. The ITV website has absolutely nothing on this lovely series, because not every website can be as good as the BBC. Luckily though, the series has its own site, creaturecomforts.tv where you can get a taste of this clever entertainment.
The premise is simple but genius. They record people on the streets giving their opinion about a number of subjects, and then put animal characters to the voices. The result is hilarious!

Okay Rachey attacked me, so heads down, HERE I GO

And to spread the mayhem, I’ve also attacked

Ioannis

and

Jessy

Yep, nazmania is set to break all forecasts for revolutionary use of technology in the 21st (am I right?) century! Prediction Pundits, admit you never saw this coming! Through the use of ultra-lightweight space-age materials such as carbon-fibre composites, this sleek new design is guaranteed to break all previous records!! Sit back and watch the unfolding of a new saga in supreme technological acheivements!!

Hallelujah!! Say it after me now!! Haaaal-lllllleeeee-lujah!! I checked my bank accounts today, (because I got some love-mail in the post from my water supplier on red stationery charging me to the tune of 160 smackeroonies) and Lo and behold! I saw with mine own eyes a Miracle!! Yes unbelievers! Repent now, before the Wrath of the Lord be upon thee!! A Miracle!! My bank has actually paid ME some money into my debit account. The princely sum of 0.01 p has been paid in as ‘net interest’!! Praise be the Lord, and all his people. I shall now settle all my earthly accounts promptly and devote the rest of my corporeal existence to the service of the Lord and his Earthly Minion, the Hongkong Shanghai Banking Corporation.

On another note, apparently women enjoy cartoons more than men. More specifically, New Scientist informs us it’s because initially women’s “expectation of being amused was lower”. I have often observed that men are more prepared to laugh at the absurd. But the question I ask is: What is the reason behind women having low expectations, and is it a trend that encompasses everything in a woman’s life?

I am also informed that Europe’s first Venus probe (that’s a spacecraft, not a sex toy), the Venus Express (how original!!) has been launched today.

Oh, and Jazz lovers, check out Bill Evans (if you haven’t already): Piano, with bass and drums. Simple, pero elegante! I’m ripping myself a huge collection of music gracias to the Manchester Central Library. Also got Jeff Buckley’s ‘Grace’; and although I prefer the live ‘Mystery White Boy’, you can see how he developed some of his songs as Grace is the earlier album.