Spam scare

I’ve seen a new form of spam:

“London hit by gas attack. Army on full alert!”

and another with

“Donald Trump kidnapped!”

I consider myself a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to spam, owing partly to the fact that I scan my inbox for particularly lewd/hilarious ones that I skype to my friends (see example below). But I’ve not been aware of such scare tactics being used previously, so let me know if any precedents spring to mind.

Example spam: “Lollipop expansion! You will be striptease star on every corporative party.”

It’s written in the Accusative, “You WILL…..”. Which makes me think, “But I don’t want to strip at EVERY corporative party (I think he means corporate, by the way). Just ’cause I did it a couple of times….”

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by naz on 20 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 20 June, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/06/20/spam-scare/

“Culcha”

I missed playing football on Monday night in order to accompany Ioan and Jessy to the Royal Northern College of Music for an evening of “Culture”.

I didn’t miss football by choice, I just didn’t realise that the concert was on a Monday and double-booked myself.

When Ioannis mentioned it, I asked him what the concert was about, i.e. who was playing what.

He replied that it was only £6 for a ticket.

I guess you get what you paid for.

The hype around it sounded good. I mean it was called “Spring-Loaded: RNCM New Ensemble” (In retrospect I should’ve spotted the “New” bit) and the website told me: “The RNCM guitar ensemble wires up for a performance of Mackey’s wildly exciting Measures of Turbulence alongside music by Steven’s great friend Louis Andriessen (In retrospect I also should’ve spotted that Mr. Andriessen’s highest commendation was the fact that he’s a “great friend” of Steven) and a world première by Australian Kate Neal (In retrospect I also should’ve spotted the fact that she’s Australian).”

The RNCM guitar ensemble played something incomprehensible and un-hummable (which is worse), which was described by one spectator as “defining volume using the minimum of spatial expression”*, and another as “a most imaginitative use of the piccatta without too much of the somnata“* **. Pompous twits.

OK, there were some good bits, like when one percussionist was agonisingly missing every odd beat by a fraction of a second. A fact noted by all because the other percussionist was getting them right.

*Totally made-up quotes.
** Totally made-up musical terms.

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by naz on 18 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 18 June, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/06/18/culcha/

What’s a robot like you doing in a place like this?

Apparently by 2050 human beings will be having loving relationships with robots.

David Levy, author of the book “Love + sex with robots”, explains why a person might want such a relationship:

“There are many millions of people in the world who have nobody. They might be shy or they might have some psychological hang-ups or psycho-sexual hang-ups, they might have personality problems, they might be ugly …

Way to go Levy!

Meanwhile for Quote of The EURO 2008, so far the best I’ve seen is this blogger talking about Brazilian-born Roger Guerreiro who, though clearly not Polish, was granted nationality just in time to play in the Polish team.

“there are hot dogs that have been Polish longer than him”

BTW here’s a very good and interesting analysis of the cultural composition of The EURO 2008.

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by naz on 16 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 16 June, 2008

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The Keyboard of Confucius

FOR SALE: Keyboard. Original Kensington ValuKeyboard circa 500 BC belonging to Confucius. Genuine antique! Custom-built quote generator – “Man who buy keyboard very keyed in”. Made in China, complies with FCC standards. Free Abacus software with purchase.

Also for Sale: Magellan’s GPS navigator, GARMIN GPS 152, robust, bright yellow. 12 parallel channel GPS receiver loaded with a database of city maps (needs updating).

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by naz on 12 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 12 June, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/06/12/the-keyboard-of-confucius/

Dirty Rookie

There was an ad running on channel five over the weekend for a movie they were going to show. Clint Eastwood with his usual squint-and-snarl acting was shown in various ‘beating-up-baddies’ poses. the voiceover was saying

“If it looks like Dirty Harry,
If it sounds like Dirty Harry,
If it smells like Dirty Harry,
Then it must be…..

The Rookie”.

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by naz on 10 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 10 June, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/06/10/dirty-rookie/

A balanced view

I feel I’ve been rather harsh on Bulgarian journalists, considering they are by far not the only offenders. So in the interest of balance here’s the competition from Greece.

Thanks to Ioan for pointing this out today.

World Environment Day today with the UN asking people to reduce their CO2 emmissions. The chairman of the (Greek) electricity board denied the harms of CO2, explaining that it is widely used even in soft drinks.

However I came right back at him with Bulgaria’s contender:

Streets of Bulgaria’s Yambol Washed for First Time in 10 Years

Bulgarian authorities reported that the streets of the southeastern town of Yambol have been washed for the first time in ten years. Unemployed people were hired to do the job as part of the Social Ministry programmes for temporary employment. Citizens commented they could not remember the last time they saw the streets of their town clean.

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by naz on 5 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 5 June, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/06/05/a-balanced-view/

Dullgaria 2

Came across another journalistic belter in Bulgarian news today.

In the Society section of the online international edition of a Bulgarian news paper, I see the headline.

An Occupation Ancient and Profitable

Now I know what occupation that is (real estate) so I clicked on it, only to find out that

The oldest profession looms to be also the most profitable one, at least in Bulgaria. Six prostituting girls could yield up to € 1 million yearly.

Note the use of the words ‘…could yield…’, normally seen in this format in a sentence discussing a viable business opportunity like

Six cows could yield up to 25 litres of milk daily.

The reporter is clearly resentful of the opportunity they’ve got, as it goes on to say

A prostitute in the Bulgarian seaside resort Sunny Beach earns between 12 000 and 18 000 euros just for a month, estimate the Police authorities. For comparison, the average monthly income in Bulgaria rarely exceeds 500 euro.

The reporter even offers some advice:-

Actually Burgas is the most convenient town for transferring of prostitutes across the border.

Proof that i’m not making it up = http://international.ibox.bg/news/id_2083586765

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by naz on 4 June, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 4 June, 2008

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Dullgaria

I spend my mornings at work looking at what’s been going on in the world, or more specifically in the territories where we sell our developments. We post news daily on the company website about growth and prosperity in all our operational areas.

Unfortunately Bulgaria is one of them.

I do not mean to imply that there is no growth and prosperity in Bulgaria, only that the journalists seem to be of a particularly negative bent of mind. Where Dubai news sources run sickly sweet with praise of everything the Sheikh’s gaze falls upon, Bulgarian journalists will even report the Second Coming with an angle on the cost involved.

This has lead a colleague to call it ‘Dullgaria’

Examples of journalistic brilliance include snippets like

The Director of Bulgaria’s Customs Agency Asen Asenov, who has filed his resignation earlier on Wednesday, said Wednesday he had not taken the step under pressure….

What a way to lead an article, this guy is condemned already!

EC Speaker: EU Report on Bulgaria Will Not Be Delayed

Because they were expecting it to be!

and

“Bulgaria is not a country that needs support, Bulgaria is our partner”: This is the common impression of the talks Minister Petkov had in the U.S. Department of State

What? Bulgaria doesn’t need support?

And there is one guy who reports on traffic who loves the word ‘carnage’ so everyday it’s “carnage this” or “carnage that”. Fortunately for him, Bulgarian drivers being what they are there’s always some sort of carnage to talk about. Maybe he thinks it’s a car-related word, as in car-nage.

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by naz on 29 May, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 29 May, 2008

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Going back to my roots…

..born in Africa

No, I’m just moving office back to where I first began in the company a year and some ago, in the boiler room. So called because by some freak of nature it’s Amazon hot.

The “financial services arm” of our group will start with nary a bang this coming Tuesday, we have big hopes for it, fingers crossed it’ll go well. Or at the very least it won’t be a total balls-up!

I’ll have a long rest this weekend because I don’t know when next I’ll be able to.

1 Comment
by naz on 23 May, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 23 May, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/05/23/going-back-to-my-roots/

I’ll have a tenner on the lame one please. Yes, the one with the hangdog look.

Ok, the sweepstakes have been drawn in our office for tonight’s match.

My name came last out of the hat (well, a glass actually) so I didn’t have much choice at guessing a score; all the realistic ones were taken by the rest of the office so I plumped for 3:0 United after 90 mins.
However, due to some technical finaglings by our Finance Director (who lost out badly last time) coming last for the first part of the sweepstake meant I had first dibs at choosing the goalscorer, so I went for Ronaldo.

So, Ronaldo 3:0 it is.

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by naz on 21 May, 2008  •  Permalink
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Posted by naz on 21 May, 2008

https://nazmania.co.uk/2008/05/21/ill-have-a-tenner-on-the-lame-one-please-yes-the-one-with-the-hangdog-look/

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